ways for the child to practice separating in short increments. This
could be going to a store or getting ice cream with a neighbor or
relative, or going to another child’s house to play. By doing this,
the child can build their separation skills so that the transition
period back to school is easier.

It’s important, too, for parents to reflect on their own anxiety
when deciding what to allow their child to do.

“Ask yourself whether it’s your fear being excessive or if you’ve
properly assessed the situation and believe it isn’t safe for your
child,” Hershfield says.

Dr. Alison L. Miller, a psychologist in Lutherville.

All three specialists agree that children, especially teenagers,
shouldn’t be kept completely isolated. “One of the primary devel-
opmental tasks of adolescence is to separate from parents, and
that means identifying and spending much more time with other
teens,” Miller says. “Parents still get to make the rules, but it is
imperative to consider your child’s mental and physical health.”
Talking to your child and brainstorming ways for them to safely
socialize not only lets them be included in the conversation, but
also helps to lower conflict.

Fitzsimmons also encourages parents to use the term “physical
distancing” instead of “social distancing” when talking with their
child. “We don’t want to teach kids to be emotionally distant, we
want to encourage them to have a physical space bubble but still
show that it’s important to have social connections.”
Navigating Playdates
Both Fitzsimmons and Miller say that the best way to feel com-
fortable about sending your child on playdates is to find families
whose pandemic protocols best match yours. This means com-
municating with parents of your child’s friends and asking tough,
straightforward questions.

“People feel comfortable with different levels of risk, and this is
a wonderful opportunity for parents to model an acceptance and
respect of differing opinions and choices,” Miller says.

Due to their own confusion and lack of knowledge, parents may
be struggling to figure out the best ways to help their children
through this difficult time. The fear and uncertainty surround-
ing the pandemic combined with isolation and quarantine can
have a strong impact on a child’s mental health. Both Dr. Miller
and Fitzsimmons have seen an uptick in depression and anxiety
in kids, which is why it’s imperative for parents to monitor their
children’s moods as best as they can.

Validate and empathize with their emotions, Miller says. One
trick is to replace the word “but” with “and,” Miller says. “Instead
20 Washington FAMILY SEPTEMBER 2020
Getting Social
It’s important for children to socially interact with friends
and family, and FaceTime and Zoom are perfect ways to
do that. But it can be difficult for children to stay interested
in these types of interaction because they’re all about con-
versation. We’ve put together a list of socially distant social
activities recommended by our three specialists:
• Writing letters to friends and family
• Playing video games that allow children to talk with
each other, such as Madden, FIFA, Minecraft, Roblox
and Fortnite
• Playing virtual board games, which can be found at
playingcards.io or unofreak.com
• Using screen share on Zoom to watch videos, play on
a game website or doodle on the whiteboard feature
together • Using Facetime or Zoom to play with dolls or dress up,
do arts and crafts or create YouTube or Tik Tok videos
• Signing up for a virtual camp or class
• Hiking, biking or swimming
• Making a bonfire in the backyard
• Creating a treasure hunt around the neighborhood
of, ‘I know you’re feeling scared but it’s pretty safe to go swim-
ming in a friend’s pool,’ try ‘I know you’re feeling scared. That
makes sense with all of the scary things we’ve heard for the past
few months! It’s ok to feel scared AND to do things in a safe way,’”
she says. “We can swim at your friend’s house and keep a good
distance from them. Even if you’re feeling nervous about it, it’s
something I’ve researched and feel that it’s safe to do.”
Finally, take baby steps. Don’t expect your child to go from 0 to
60. Ease back into social situations one step at a time with masks,
outside play, socially distanced play, socializing in small numbers
and for short amounts of time. T
IPGGUTENBERGUKLTD / ISTOCK / GETTY IMAGES PLUS
“People feel comfortable
with different levels of
risk, and this is a wonderful
opportunity for parents to
model an acceptance
and respect of differing
opinions and choices”