Socially
distant socially
Awkward by Katie Beecher
18 Washington FAMILY SEPTEMBER 2020



I
t’s not very surprising that there’s been an uptick in mental health issues after living in a state of
isolation and uncertainty for so long. There’s no guidebook for us to follow, and improvis-
ing when it comes to health and safety is not ideal. “We are already seeing the impact of
the pandemic on individuals and families. Stress, anxiety, mood disorders and family
conflict are all on the rise,” says Dr. Alison L. Miller, a psychologist in Lutherville.

What’s more, we’re operating in a world where there are fewer social cues and,
therefore, an inability to sense how we’re being received.

Reading Social Cues
We rely on facial expressions when interacting with another person, but masks reduce
our ability to read those small cues. “Before, when we took walks and another person was
coming close to us we might have smiled or nodded,” says Sarah Fitzsimmons, a licensed
therapist in Towson. “But with more than half of our face covered it’s harder to read people,
and that can make us more anxious.”
What’s important to remember during these times is that anxiety is not our enemy, it’s our
brain’s way of alerting us to possible danger. “Some anxiety about COVID-19 is probably adaptive, as
it will encourage us to follow public health guidelines and think about the choices we’re making,” Miller
says. Anxiety only becomes an issue when it starts to consume us. For this reason, both Fitzsimmons and Miller
encourage people to try separating feelings from facts.

“Ask yourself: Do I have a factual reason in this situation to be anx-
ious? Am I going into a crowd of people, or am I feeling anxious just
walking out to the mailbox? Do I need to be taking extra precautions
right now?” Fitzsimmon says.

Even after the pandemic, the specialists agree that there will
probably be an adjustment and healing process. Choosing not to
socialize or to stay away from certain situations is perfectly OK. “It’s
important to give yourself a lot of patience and self-compassion,”
says Jon Hershfield, MFT, director of The Center for OCD & Anxiety
Center at Sheppard Pratt. “There’s nothing wrong with you, we all
need time to adjust.”
That being said, it’s vital to recognize that other people might not be
Jon Hershfield, MFT, director of Sheppard Pratt’s
at the same level of comfort you are. “As long as their behaviors are not
Center for OCD & Anxiety
putting you at risk, we must accept that friends and loved ones will not
necessarily feel the same way that we do,” Miller says. “Compassion
and support are imperative to keep our relationships strong.”
This requires better communication, both with loved ones, acquaintances and strangers. Though
it may be awkward, Fitzsimmons says that we have to be willing to ask the uncomfortable ques-
tions. “We might have to ask people if they’re comfortable with a certain amount of distance or
if they’re OK with me taking my mask off,” she says. “It’s a great opportunity to practice hav-
ing difficult conversations and making decisions.”
And when it comes to social cues, it could be that we might have to adopt more
outward, physical gestures. “In other cultures and parts of the world, people nod, bow
or place their hand on their heart as a way of acknowledging someone else’s presence
without communicating too much,” Hershfield says. “We may have to rely more on hand
signals, like giving a thumbs up to let someone know it’s OK.”
“It’s important to give
yourself a lot of patience
and self-compassion.

There’s nothing wrong
with you, we all need
time to adjust.”
Dealing with Separation Anxiety
As a specialist in childhood anxiety disorders, Miller has also seen increasing levels of separation
anxiety, which she believes could be linked to the lack of socialization opportunities that children
have at the moment.

This can be especially detrimental to children once they return to school since they’re not used to being
away from their parents. That’s why, if parents are seeing difficulties in separation, Miller suggests brainstorming
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