LAST WORD
Helping our kids stand
tall and face their fears
BY KATHRYN STREETER
W Sports offer
many life lessons.

Parents should
seek ways to
encourage perseverance
because their
child will be a
better person on
the other side of
the struggle.

ith the new school year here, kids
may feel varying degrees of uneas-
iness. The change of environment
could bring heightened emotion and perhaps,
a temptation to run and hide. For kids to suc-
cessfully handle the big things in life down the
road, they need the tools and encouragement to
stand tall and face their fears. The learning needs
to start early just as it should happen gradually
so that children can eventually come to hold
themselves with self-reliance and confidence.

Knowing that their children could face hard,
scary situations can be upsetting to parents
because they won’t be there, to buffer chal-
lenges, hardship and disappointment. Middle
school coach Amy Gillespie tells parents that
if their athlete suffers a slump this year and
isn’t playing well, to expect a good coach to
bench them. “This time in your kid’s life will be
incredibly instructive,” Gillespie predicts, who
coaches girls volleyball and softball. She advises
parents to challenge their athlete not to buckle
with defeat but instead, to hustle. Be the first
at practice, the last to leave. Show the coach it
doesn’t matter if you’re a starter or coming off
the bench, that you love the game and that you’ll
do anything for the team.

Sports, Gillespie believes, offer many life les-
sons. Parents should seek ways to encourage
perseverance because their child will be a better
person on the other side of the struggle.

Gayle Kamen-Weinstein, who conducts a peer
mediation program at various schools, urges par-
ents to teach kids responses to hard situations.

“One of the key points to dealing with conflicts
is to become an active bystander. That means
not passively standing by, perhaps using a cell
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46 Washington FAMILY SEPTEMBER 2019
phone to record, but to be brave to step in to
help problem-solve or seek help from an adult.

This strategy empowers kids and gives them
skills they can use on a daily basis.” She offered
an example, telling how she once sat wait-
ing after school for her daughter. When finally
arrived, breathless and apologetic, she explained
there was a fight in the hallway and she had run
for help. Kamen-Weinstein says, “That is what
we can do for children. Learn to stand up for
themselves and others around them.”
A new learning environment can be more
stressful for parents than for children,
acknowledges Matt Evers, founder of Prim-
rose School. Evers tells parents new to their
community, which offers daycare, preschool,
before/after-care, Pre-K and Kindergarten
classes that leaving their child behind will be
harder on them than the child. While mom and
dad may worry all day, the child will dry their
tears and start playing with new friends. “From
an early age, when a child faces a challenging
situation, they are able to begin learning how
to cope, adapt and overcome,” Evers says.

One way to reduce tension and build a com-
forting environment for families is to prioritize
a consistent rhythm to each school day. “Our
daily routines help to calm fears because the kids
know what to expect,” Evers says. Overall, the
schools’ small, kid-friendly scale serves to allevi-
ate a child’s angst. “Just as a child crawls before
walking, there’s benefit for a child to ease into the
school environment by first experiencing it on a
smaller scale,” Evers explains. ■
Kathryn Streeter is a D.C.-based mom
and blogger.