• Meet and greet. Make introductions to teachers and other school
personnel. Signs of Anxiety
Kids express anxiety in many ways. Some are vocal and quite specific
about their concerns. The tummy ache is a common symptom of
stress in younger kids. But more often it is a child’s behavior that
indicates distress. Cockerton says, “The younger child can become
more ‘clingy,’ not wanting to leave mom’s side.”
Older children can also suffer physical symptoms, such as headaches.

They may eat more or less than usual when they’re feeling anxious,
and Norris notes they may also experience sleep interruptions and
moodiness. How Parents Can Help
Kids feel more confident and competent when they come to school
prepared. Experts like Cockerton and Norris agree that parents play a
leading role in helping kids cope with back-to-school fears. Here are
some ways to calm the jitters:
• Brainstorm. Help your child build a repertoire of possible
solutions to a problem. Colin, was anxious at the thought of
changing into his gym clothes amongst other boys. She says, “We
helped him figure out where he could change and feel he had
some privacy.”
• Play “what if…” What would you do if you forgot your lunch?
What would you do if couldn’t find your homework? This
technique gets even the youngest kids involved in problem-
solving. As Principal Norris says, “Developing the skills to solve
problems independently lasts a lifetime!”
• Role play. Act out potentially uncomfortable interactions: What
can you say if you want to be friends with someone? What can
you do if someone is mean to you?
• Talk to your child about what worries her. Provide accurate
information if she is misinformed.

• Resist overscheduling. Keep extracurricular activities
manageable, especially during the first months of school. Kids
need down time to unwind and reflect.

• Listen carefully and respond empathetically. Avoid saying,
“Don’t worry. You’ll be fine!” Focus on your child’s very real
concerns. • Show confidence. Let your child know you trust her ability to
succeed. Remind her of the many challenges she’s faced and
managed in the past.

• Create safe space. The tween who resists face-to-face conversation
may “open up” at unexpected moments. Look for natural
opportunities to listen and check in during daily activities—
riding in the car, doing a chore, playing a game.

• Check parental fears. As Cockerton says, “Children are very good
at reading their parents’ emotions, and if the parent is worried
about how their child will do at school, the child will interpret
that as ‘something to be worried about.’”
• Read books. Cockerton says books can give kids “language to
express what they are feeling.” School-challenged characters can
also normalize a child’s feelings.

• Make home comfortable. Kids who are worried about a parent’s
physical or mental health may be reluctant to leave home. When
major life events (divorce, death, a family move) occur, maintain
as consistent a routine as possible.

• List it. Help kids refocus on the positive by listing the things
they’re excited about as well as the things that scare them.

• Talk to veteran students. If your child is starting at a new school,
make contact with kids that have been there a year or two. Fears
of the unknown can be calmed with accurate kid-to-kid info.

Soothe the Stress with
Belly Breaths!
An anxious child tends to take quick,
shallow breaths. A good self-calming
technique is the “belly breath.”
• Get help. If your child’s difficulties persist, “Networking with
the school personnel is a critical piece of the puzzle. Open
communication with school teachers, counselors and others is
paramount to ensuring the most successful year possible.”
HElpful Books
For Little Ones:
First Grade Jitters by Robert Quackenbush
I Am Too Absolutely Small for School by
Lauren Child
Here’s how to do it:
Kindergarten Rocks by Katie Davis
Sit comfortably.

Place one hand lightly on your belly.

Breathe in slowly through your nose
for a count of four.

The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn
Feel your belly rise.

Hold the breath for a count of two.

Let your breath out slowly through
your mouth as you count to four.

Repeat several times.

Scary Things by Lenore Look (ages 6-9)
For Older Kids:
Alvin Ho: Allergic to Girls, School, and Other
Ashley Talmadge is a freelance writer and
mother of two elementary-age boys. She
has found that each school year brings its
own set of fascinations and challenges.

Back to School, Mallory by Laurie B.

Friedman (ages 7-10)
Smile by Raina Telgemeier (ages 8-12)
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