H AUN FOR T TS WHOL HE FAMIL E Y! Sm a rt. Loca l. Pa re nt ing for  t he DMV. washingtonFAMILY.com OCTOBER 2022 NoVa ’s MEGAN CHR ISTIE Her journey with Neurofibromatosis Private Schools Invisible Disability Awareness Autism-Friendly Halloween Choosing a Special Ed School Sp e cia l Se ct io n : D isa b ilit y R e so u r ce Gu id e Page 21 OFFERING the best in MONTESSORI EDUCATION for 33 years 2022 WI NN ER Winner Best Montessori School Enrollment: 140 Student/Faculty: 12:1 Special Programs: French, Spanish, Italian, Model United Nations, Yoga, Outdoor Education, Theater, Leadership Program DISCOVER YOURSELF • FIND COMMUNITY • TRANSCEND YOUR LIMITS Montessori Programs For Students Age 2 — Grade 12 in Chevy Chase-Bethesda Admissions: 301.652.7751 admissions@onenessfamily.org | www.onenessfamily.org Lower School (Age 2–Grade 8): 6701 Wisconsin Ave., Chevy Chase, MD Upper School (Grades 9–12): 9411 Connecticut Ave., Kensington, MD CONTENTS PHOTO PROVIDED OCTOBER 2022 What should parents consider when choosing a private school?  Page 12 FEATURES DIRECTORY 12 16 CHOOSING A PRIVATE SCHOOL Here’s what parents should consider in their search. OPEN HOUSE/PRIVATE SCHOOL 18 DEPARTMENTS 20 8 MAMMOGRAM MYTHS If you have concerns about screenings, here’s what you need to know HOW TO HAVE AN AUTISM-FRIENDLY HALLOWEEN Tips for keeping your neurodiverse trick-or-treater safe and happy INCLUSIVE FAMILY 28 MORE THAN JUST FLEXIBILITY Exploring Ehlers Danlos Syndrome for October’s Invisible Disabilities Week 34 A RE PRIVATE SCHOOLS RIGHT FOR MY CHILD’S SPECIAL EDUCATION? School choice with diverse learning needs in mind TOP 10 CALENDAR Fall activities for families in the DMV 10 FAMILY FUN Enjoy these kid-friendly haunts for the whole family. 11 33 BOOK MARKED These Halloween reads also celebrate diversity and inclusion. 38 34 40 35 THE ABCS OF SPECIAL NEEDS Helpful terms for children with developmental disabilities in alphabetical order WORD FOR WORD These words will come up often when caring for children with different abilities 45 WE WANT YOUR FEEDBACK GENERAL DISABILITY RESOURCES Schools, organizations and services essential for families DIY How to make your own Halloween mask B’MORE HEALTHY Skin changes during pregnancy – what you need to know PARENT YOU SHOULD KNOW Megan Christie shares her journey in Alexandria with Neurofibromatosis 38 MY TURN 5 Ways to Help a Friend Who Parents a Child with Special Needs READERS’ RESPONSES We welcome your feedback — on specific articles, overall themes and anything else related to editorial content. Enter your comments on the Feedback tab of our website: info@washingtonfamily.com. Please note we reserve the right to edit or refrain from publishing comments we deem inappropriate. WashingtonFAMILy.com  3 OUR TEAM ADVERTISING EDITORIAL Craig Burke, CEO/Publisher Lindsay VanAsdalan, Editor cburke@midatlanticmedia.com LVanAsdalan@midatlanticmedia.com Sales Consultants Staff Writers Alan Gurwitz, Robin Harmon Jesse Berman, Jillian Diamond Pam Kuperschmidt,Jodi Lipson Sasha Rogelberg David Pintzow, Sara Priebe Heather M. Ross, Jarrad Saffren Mary Ramsdale, Sharon Schmuckler Lindsay VanAsdalan Sylvia Witaschek OCTOBER 2022 VOL. 30, NO. 10 WashingtonFamily.com/ 301-230-2222 Contributing Writers Emily Rose Barr, Megan Conway Elena Epstein, Erika Kerr Joanna Harris, Eleanor Linafelt Jacqueline Renfrow Craig Burke, Publisher Jeni Mann Tough, Associate Publisher Contributing Photographer David Stuck MARKETING Julia Olaguer Audience Development Coordinator BUSINESS Pattie-Ann Lamp Accounting Manager 410-902-2300 plamp@midatlanticmedia.com CREATIVE Steve Burke, Art Director James Meskunas, Digital Media Manager Jay Sevidal, Graphic Designer Frank Wagner, Graphic Designer Carl Weigel, Graphic Designer MID-ATLANTIC MEDIA Craig Burke, CEO/Publisher cburke@midatlanticmedia.com Jeni Mann Tough, Associate Publisher jmann@midatlanticmedia.com CIRCULATION 410-902-2300, ext. 1 © 2022 Washington Family. Distribution of this magazine does not constitute an endorsement of information, products or services. The publisher reserves the right to reject any advertisement or listing that is not in keeping with this publication’s standards. All rights reserved. 9200 Rumsey Road, Suite 215, Columbia, MD 21045 2021 Overall Writing 2021 Overall Design 2021 Publisher’s/ Editor’s Note 2021 Briefs/ Short Stuff 2021 News Feature 2021 Feature Layout 2021 2021 Single-Page Design Profile 2021 Column: Family Fun 2021 2021 Personal Essay Q & A Interview 2021 Feature Layout Hands-on academics. Personal growth. Ready for exploration. Upcoming Open Houses: Thursday, October 13 at 9:00 AM - In Person Wednesday, November 16 at 9:00 AM - In Person Visit our Website to Register or Schedule a Tour Preschool - Grade 8 Co-ed, Independent School in Falls Church 4  Washington FAMILY  OCTOBER 2022 Contact us about our Infant and Toddler Program FIRST WORD Building Inclusive Communities I Lindsay VanAsdalan Editor LVanAsdalan@ midatlanticmedia.com Facebook @WashingtonFamilyMagazine​ Twitter @FAMILYMagDC Pinterest @familymagazine Instagram @washingtonfamilymag Email us Let us know what’s on your mind. info@thefamilymagazine.com t’s Halloween season, and there’s a lot to think about — what costume to get, where to go for trick-or-treating and whether there are any haunted houses to visit as a family(pg. 10). But there should also be considerations for neurodiverse chil- dren who might not have as much fun with these traditional October activities. Contributing writer Eleanor Linafelt explores what parents can do to plan an autism-friendly Halloween for their child — and their friends! With that in mind, there’s things we can be doing as community members every day to make children and families with different abilities feel welcome. In this issue, we learn more about disabilities that can feel invisible to most but are very real for the child experiencing them. Our spotlight on Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (pg 28) provides one examples and raises awareness for the Invisible Disabilities Association’s Invisible Disabilities Week, Oct. 16-22. We also know that disabilities come in all shapes and sizes — visible and invisible, physical and devel- opmental, well-known and rare. Our special Inclusive Family section provides resources for families, and friends of families, with disabilities of all kinds, includ- ing helpful terms and a directory of local services. This season we are taking a closer look at private schools as well. Explore our inclusive section for a breakdown from staff writer Heather M. Ross on what to consider when thinking about a special education private school or program (pg. 34) and on page 12, con- tributing writer Megan Conway covers helpful steps in choosing a private school for all needs. Weighing all these considerations can put a lot of pressure on parents, so it’s important to remember your health. Our Healthy Family feature exlores skin conditions to look out for during pregnancy, and con- tributing writer Emily Rose Barr tackles mammogram myths (pg. 18). Finally, find more Halloween fun with books (pg. 33) and our DIY craft (pg. 11) Happy haunting! Join us for virtual and in-person information sessions! 80 Celebrating PRIVATE SCHOOL & CHILD CARE DIRECTORIES INSIDE washingt onFAMILY .com NOVEMBER 2021 Smart. Local. Parenting for the DMV. Celebrates Thanksgiving DMV Mom Mimi Adoption Competency Markopoulos Choose-and- Cut Christmas Trees with Family Kids & COVID -19 Vaccines Advertise in our November Issue! years of Living Langley Yes. balanced. Your child’s school can be PRESCHOOL AND DAY CARE, SANTA SIGHTINGS, CHARITABLE GIVING, NATIONAL ADOPTION MONTH At Langley, we create a curriculum that develops every child’s intellect and emotional acuity in equal measure. Balanced learning prepares students to think critically, tackle challenges, and make good decisions. EMAIL us at advertising@ washingtonfamily.com Where vital academics meet a deep respect for childhood Preschool through grade 8 in Northern Virginia and more news that parents need. OR CALL us at 301-230-2222, EXT. 2 LOCAL. PARENTING PARENTING FOR FOR THE DMV. SMART. SMART. LOCAL. THE DMV. Print | Digital | Learn more at www.langleyschool.org WashingtonFAMILy.com  5 EDITOR’S PICKS BY ELENA EPSTEIN, DIRECTOR OF THE NATIONAL PARENTING PRODUCT AWARDS Scribble Scrubbie Dinosaur Pets Waterfall Travel back in time to the age of dinosaurs and create unique designs with color drops and markers. Pour water down the waterfall, scrub the dinos in the pool and play again. $19.99, ages 3+, crayola.com Silence A wordless picture book where end- less narrations are possible. A silent journey through nature and differ- ent landscapes allows kids to create their own adventure. $18.95, ages 4-10, cuentodeluz.com Readyland An immersive, magical reading experience that encourages kids’ love of reading. Printed books come alive with innovative voice technology, allowing readers to talk to characters, respond to questions, choose songs, play games and much more. $14.99, ages 4+, readyland.com 6  Washington FAMILY  OCTOBER 2022 Learning Kindness Activity Set Blends write-on wipe-off pages and an activity pad that helps preschoolers and kindergartners build social-emotional learning skills with writing practice, puzzles, drawing and more. Focuses on kindness, empathy, friendship and cooper- ation. $14.99, ages 3-6, shop.highlights.com NTL STUDIO / ADOBESTOCK HERE’S WHAT WE’RE LOVING FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY THIS MONTH CoComelon Boo Boo JJ Plush J.J. expresses where he’s hurt and when he’s healed. Kids can come to the rescue with themed bandages. Says phrases and plays songs. $34.99, ages 2+, jazwares.com Train of Thought A card game that inspires real connec- tions and meaningful conversations. Learn more about the ones you love through thoughtful questions and fun challenges. $16.97, amazon.com Marvel Eye Found It! Board Game Star Wars Micro Galaxy Millennium Falcon Search for hundreds of hidden illustrations in the Marvel Cinematic Universe while vis- iting Wakanda, Asgard and everywhere in between on a huge, beautifully illustrated game board. $24.99, ages 4+, amazon.com Springfree Large Oval Trampoline With its springless design, flexible net, soft-edge mat and hidden frame, this trampoline gives kids the oppor- tunity to be kids with fun outdoor play. Great for families to have fun together. $1,799, ages 6+, springfreet- rampoline.com. Loaded with features: opening cockpit, rotating cannons, retractable landing gear, light-up thrusters, motion-activated sounds and more. Also includes articulated 1-inch Han Solo, Chewbacca, Princess Leia and Obi-Wan Kenobi micro figures, compatible with any Star Wars Micro Galaxy Squadron craft. $44.99, ages 8+, jazwares.com Superspace A life-sized modular magnetic play space set that connects as if by magic, facilitating imaginative and cooperative play. The panels are made from recycled plastic bottles, and the patented mag- netic locking system allows children to create almost any structure they can dream up and then play in their own creation. Easily packs away for storage. $299, ages 2+, getsuperspace.com For more product reviews, visit nappaawards.com WashingtonFAMILY.com  7 TOP 10 CALENDAR Family Events for October Explore these fun fall activities in the DMV BY HEATHER M. ROSS THROUGHOUT THE MONTH dinosaliveexhibit.com/washington-dc FAR LEFT: ADOBE STOCK; LADEW: DAVID STUCK; ALL OTHERS COURTESY OF GETTY IMAGES 2 8  Washington FAMILY  OCTOBER 2022 1 OCT. 1-2 10TH ANNUAL WEINER 500 DACHSHUND DASH Families love The Wharf for its fresh seafood, entertainment and music, but join Oktoberfest celebrants for a special event supporting Rural Dog Rescue. Watch these dedicated Dachshunds race on the District Pier race track from 2-5 p.m. each day or register your family pup to race! FREE wharfdc.com OCT. 3 FAMILY STORY TIME AT CAPITOL VIEW NEIGHBORHOOD LIBRARY 3 Encourage the growth of your child’s language and literacy skills while promoting a lifelong positive relationship with reading by participat- ing in Capitol View Library’s 30-40 minute story time, starting at 10:30 a.m. Your child will enjoy books and activities as well as the company of their peers. FREE dclibrary.libnet.info OCT. 8 FAMILYFEST AT SHIPGARTEN Enjoy a Saturday filled with family fun! This festival from 1-6 p.m. features face paint, balloon twisting, crafts, cake and other activities. Some events include the Parent & Me 3-legged race, Parent & Me water balloon toss, an egg run relay, a petting zoo, a chil- dren’s pie eating contest and more! FREE Shipgarten.com 4 OLGAOVCHARENKO / ADOBESTOCK TICKETS ARE $16-28; FAMILY BUNDLE $17 MARTIN / ADOBESTOCK DINOS ALIVE: AN IMMERSIVE EXPERIENCE Travel back in time to the Jurassic period with this park full of more than 80 life-sized moving replicas of all your favorite dinosaurs, including the T-rex, Stegosaurus, Ankylosaurus, Velociraptors at The Rhode Island Center. If ancient land-dwelling giants aren’t quite your cup of tea don’t worry! With the virtual aquarium kids (and parents) can meet the massive creatures that ruled the Jurassic seas. OCT. 12 CRAFT KIT TO GO: HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH Celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month with this craft kit for children ages 5-12 with books, resources and materials for a papel picado banner and a marigold. Kits are available on a first-come-first- serve basis at the children’s reference desk at the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial Library in Washington, D.C. SERGIO HAYASHI / ADOBESTOCK 5 FREE dclibrary.libnet.info OCT. 15 OCT. 22 2022 KINGMAN ISLAND FAMILY DAY TRUNK OR TREAT AT PREMIER MARTIAL ARTS Bring your family and explore Kingman and Heritage Islands! Family Day includes fun island activities like paddling, nature walks, fishing, scavenger hunts and more! This event will include opportunities to learn about the plans for the excit- ing future of these islands. Looking to avoid crowds on Halloween night? Try a Trunk or Treat. From 5-7 p.m., Premier Martial Arts Manassas is hosting a Halloween event to remember with candy, games and spooktastic decorations! Admission is free but registration is preferred to prepare for the num- ber of attendees. FREE premiermartialarts. com/manassas kingmanisland.com/family-day OCT. 15 6 9 FREE; REGISTRATION THROUGH EVENTBRITE UNICORN KIDS CLUB: NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK DAY The Smithsonian’s Anacostia Community Museum invites kids to an opportunity to find other unique kids! On third Saturdays from 11 a.m. to noon, join the museum for stories, crafts and other activities for children ages 5-12. FREE anacostia.si.edu OCT. 15 7 OCT. 30 HALLOWEEN FAMILY MOVIE NIGHT Enjoy a family-friendly Halloween experience at Wildberry Farm and Market in Crownsville from 5-7:30 p.m. Reminisce with Halloween classic, “The Nightmare Before Christmas,” and enjoy local flavors from food trucks like MMPanadas! Each child will receive a Halloween-themed goodie bag. Costumes are encouraged! TICKETS FOR YOUTH 5K (AGES 12 AND YOUNGER) ARE $20; ADULT 5K IS $40 bestkids.org/superhero- 5k--fun-run.html 8 MAGLARA / ISTOCK / GETTY IMAGES PLUS BEST KIDS SUPERHERO 5K & FUN RUN Model a healthy lifestyle and promote fitness as a family by participating in BEST Kids’ 5k, Youth 5k or Kids Fun Run at Hains Point. The Kids Fun Run is free, and proceeds from registration for the 5ks go to BEST Kids’ program, working to empower youth in D.C.’s foster care system. Register online. TICKETS ARE $5; AVAILABLE UNTIL OCT. 23. wildberryfarmmarket.com 10 WashingtonFAMILY.com  9 FAMILY FUN KID-FRIENDLY HAUNTED HOUSES THE BEST IN THE DMV AREA BY HEATHER M. ROSS It’s officially spooky season. So get ready for jack-o-lanterns, cobwebs, cauldrons and hauntings! Kids can enjoy the scares too with these local and family-friendly haunted experiences. OCT. 1-31 Head out to the Halloween-themed carnival for some frightening games: bloody axe throwing, a zombie brain smash, a crypt ring toss onto skeleton arms and a bean bag toss into scary jack-o-lanterns while the teens of the crew ages 14 and older explore two terrifying haunts. screams.org Laurel’s House of Horror OCT. 1 – NOV. 5 Laurel’s House of Horror boasts being Maryland, D.C. and Virginia’s largest indoor haunted house. Kids 10 and older will be comfortable in the main scare, and there are two 10  Washington FAMILY  OCTOBER 2022 less-scary escape rooms for younger siblings. The haunted house experience promises new, chilling and unique exhibits, and is not recommended for children who have sensory difficulties. laurelhaunt.com/haunted-house Haunted Nightmares Haunted House OCT. 1– 31 Wekends during October, this haunted house in Winchester, Va., just 40 minutes from Leesburg, is open from 1-5 p.m. for a younger audience with fewer scares. Haunted Nightmares also has five different family-friendly escape rooms. After the haunt, pick a small pumpkin on the non-haunted moonlit hayride or explore one of the area’s largest corn mazes. hauntednightmares.net Legends of the Fog OCT. 7 - NOV. 5 There’s a scare for everyone at Legends of the Fog. Explore their world of scares including a haunted hayride, haunted hotel, haunted maze and their newest attraction, the walkthrough slaughterhouse. Children under 14 must have an adult chaperone and this experience is not recommended for children under 10 years old. legendsofthefog.com D.C. Ghosts Tour YEAR-ROUND Visit up to 12 spooky landmarks across a 1.5-mile walk over the course of 90 minutes. This family- friendly experience is the perfect way to experience the history of the capital city this Halloween season. dcghosts.com DIGITALVISION VECTORS / FUNNYBANK Carnival Games at Field of Screams Maryland DIY D•I•Y HALLOWEEN MASKS Dinosaurs and fairies and scaries, oh my! BY HEATHER M. ROSS HALLOWEEN IS COMING and costumes line the shelves of every supermarket and Halloween store, but sometimes the best costumes need a personal touch. Here are our instructions for how you can make a spectacular and captivating Halloween mask with your child. YOU’LL NEED: • A child-sized plain masquerade mask • Paint (tempera) • Solid tempera paint markers (the washable kind!) or a permanent marker • A foam brush or sponge • Optional: Stick-on gems or glitter. STEP 1: Choose a design. For ours, we chose dino- saur and fairy themes, but these steps will work for any simple design. Tip: Be sure to involve your child in this process! Children tend to enjoy things much more when they feel they have a part in it. STEP 2: Remove the thread from the mask before you begin decorating. This will make the mask easier to handle and keep the elastic in good shape. pink around the eyes for the fairy mask and speckled in the upper right and left corners. For the dinosaur mask, we created blocky, natural shapes to look like dinosaur skin. Wait for these marks to dry. STEP 3: Apply the paint and create texture. Simply painting it on with the foam brush like a tra- ditional paintbrush will leave streaks that might look unnatural. Instead, gently dab the paint on. For the dinosaur mask, we used a plastic grocery bag dipped in paint to cre- ate a rough texture for the base of the mask. We used swooping brush strokes with the foam brush for the fairy mask, making lay- ered curves. Wait for this layer to dry. Note: The textured look will take longer to dry, but it will be worth it! STEP 5: (FAIRY MASK ONLY) Make little dots of glue around the speckles of paint in the upper right and left corners. Then, apply glitter of your choice gener- ously. After a minute or two, shake the excess glitter off and allow the glue to dry fully. STEP 6: (FAIRY MASK ONLY) Apply the stick-on gems to the center of the forehead area. We used three but feel free to do as many or as few as you’d like. Then, add a few around the eyes. STEP 7: Tip: Don’t check for dryness with your fingers. Re-thread the masks. Wait until the paint no longer looks shiny or wet. Tip: You can allow your child to apply the glitter, but supervise them closely to ensure STEP 4: glitter doesn’t end up on everything else. Next, we’ll create highlights on the masks using the tempera paint markers. We used Enjoy your masks!  T PHOTOS BY HEATHER M. ROSS Tip: Buy one child-sized mask and one adult-sized mask to do this craft along with your child! 11  Washington FAMILY  OCTOBER 2022 CHOOSING A PRIVATE SCHOOL FOR YOUR CHILD? Here’s what to consider in your search BY MEGAN CONWAY Initial Research – Ask Around & Utilize Online Resources “Usually, I would say the biggest driving force behind where to look is word of mouth – 80% of admissions is word of mouth, so it’s usually a family member or a friend or someone in the community [who recommends schools],” explains McGrisken. We’re a social species, after all, and having a personal connection to someone 12  Washington FAMILY  OCTOBER 2022 with a school recommendation is an easy place to begin. If this doesn’t necessarily work for your family, or you’d like to dig deeper, McGrisken recommends niche.com, where curious families can search schools by zip code and dis- tance from their home. “A lot of these families, especially [within] the generation they are, are absorbing most of the schools through an online platform,” McGrisken adds. It’s All About Your Values Much of the decision-making process should be based on a matching of core values, explains McGrisken, “to make sure that what we’re about is what the family is also about.” This helps eliminate future friction. Although all private schools aim to educate their child, methodology and core focuses can differ, creating oppor- tunities for families to find their perfect, unique match. Embedded in the Tatnall School mission, for example, is “a caring faculty [that] creates an environment which nurtures curiosity and encourages students to grow in maturity and self-esteem,” and the school’s “outdoor classroom” allows access to a 110-acre campus (with addi- tional acres of natural habitats). Elsewhere, The Park School in Baltimore allows chil- dren agency over their education, with faculty that nurture students by providing physical materials and resources to support their interests and open them up to diverse worldviews. Oneness-Family Montessori School, in Chevy Chase, focuses on family and communi- ty-building, “offering celebration in triumph, compassion in sadness [and] guidance and wisdom for every semes- ter.” Students are guided to develop emotionally and inwardly alongside their academic pursuits. And, Lucy School, in Middletown, approaches education through a BOOK: STEFAN ILIC; CHILD: SDI PRODUCTIONS / E+ / GETTY IMAGES h ildren spend a significant portion of their lives in some form of schooling. It’s often where humans make many important social connections, build emotional intelligence, learn about themselves and explore possibil- ities for the future – making the hours spent within school walls an important slice of who we ulti- mately end up becoming. Decisions surrounding a child’s schooling are deeply personal to individual families, and can cause stress for those mulling over several options – public or private? Religious or secular? Where will my child thrive? For those who have chosen the private school route, the considerations run as wide as one can imagine. With the help of Alissa J. McGrisken, associate director of enroll- ment & financial aid and director of family engagement at The Tatnall School in Wilmington, Delaware, we’ve out- lined some key decision steps and considerations that caregivers should be aware of when determining what pri- vate school may be best for their child. McGrisken helps break down the decision-making pro- cess for exploring private school options, with examples of options from schools in the Delaware Valley, DMV, Frederick County and Baltimore County. “student-centered, arts enriched program” that focuses on community and environmental care on a 17-acre farm setting. Some families might consider religious schools as a good fit, while others might be drawn to independent or secular settings. “It is a big investment,” notes McGrisken. “Find where your family fits. It’s not only about the child, it’s also about the family – this will become their community too.” GROUP: STANDRET / ADOBE STOCK; PLANTS: -VICTOR- / DIGITALVISION VECTORS Other Important Considerations Value-matching is essential, but so is meeting individ- ual family needs. “So, for instance…[if] a student has a learning difference, making sure that [schools] have the resources to support that” is important, notes McGrisken. Other key factors for caregivers to explore as they com- pare schools include “experience of faculty, diversity, equity and community…are we doing the work? What are our efforts? Are we honest about where we can go?” she says. Honesty is essential to fostering a successful school match. “And, at the end of the day, it’s a feel. If all those things are in place, would my kid be comfortable here? Seeing the kids in the hallway – do they look happy? Are they engaged?” asks McGrisken. Sports and extracurricular offerings could impact deci- sions as well, whether athletic enthusiasts are drawn to Tatnall School’s 37 interscholastic sports teams or cre- atives can see themselves in Park School’s 44,000 square foot Wyman Arts Center (both schools, of course, offer options for students of various interests). Your Child’s Opinion Matters “It is a very interesting time,” observes McGrisken. “I would say more and more, the student is actually picking the school – particularly at the upper school level.” It may go without saying that your child is, after all, the one who will be spending crucial developmental hours at their school. Taking your child’s opinion into consideration is, however, an important part of the deci- sion-making process. McGrisken recalls an instance in CONSIDERATIONS WHEN CHOOSING A PRIVATE SCHOOL Positive recommendations Ask Around & Utilize Online Resources Do their methodology and core focuses match yours? Does the school meet your individual family needs? Resources to support your child’s learning differences. What sports and extracurricular offerings do they have? Have you taken your child’s opinion into consideration? Is financial aid in the form of scholarship opportunities and financial assistance available? WashingtonFAMILY.com  13 with a child with two mothers was registered at one school but experienced an uncomfortable situation early on that compelled the child and their family to change schools. “A lot of schools have a version of a shadow program, no matter the grade level,” McGrisken explains. “That can be a super important experience for [children] to feel – did they mesh with the faculty? Did they mesh with the student body? Did they have a good day?” ... Look beyond the price tag, because a lot of schools want to make it work for your family and where you are financially.” — ALISSA J. MCGRISKEN After applying to Lucy School, for example, children are invited to a shadow experience that allows them to observe a typical learning day and gives them the oppor- tunity to interact with potential future teachers and fellow students. Grade-placement information may be gathered in the form of a writing sample and math assess- ment. Similarly, Oneness-Family Montessori School has its applicants schedule both a parent meeting and a class- room visit for prospective students, which differ in length depending on age. And Finally, Know That Financial Aid is Often Available The price of a private school education can be daunting for families exploring various options for their children. However, this is not necessarily a reason to shy away. “For me, that would be my biggest piece of advice to parents who are not content where they are – look beyond the price tag, because a lot of schools want to make it work for your family and where you are financially,” McGrisken emphasizes. Financial aid in the form of scholarship opportunities and financial assistance are often available, and prospective families should be sure to keep their options open and ask.  T PERFORMANCES FORR Y OUNG AUDIENCES Ages 5+ Ages 5+ Tickets from $18 NATIONAL SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA FAMILY CONCERT Sleepover at the Museum Imagine spending your birthday at the museum! The Museum of Natural History is Mason’s favorite place to visit and he can’t wait to celebrate his birthday with a sleepover there. Join Mason and his friends for a musical and scientific scavenger hunt through the museum in this concert with music, projections, and story by Karen LeFrak based on her book of the same name. Tickets from $20 WORLD PREMIERE A CO-PRESENTATION WITH WASHINGTON PERFORMING ARTS Finding Rhythm: Grow Your Brain with Go-go Music Discover connection through rhythm and Go-go. Oct. 15, 2022 at 2 & 4 p.m. | Concert Hall Take a journey through the musical brain with Mother Dance, Father Rhythm, and the Curious Scientist! D.C.’s own Go-go music and brain science come together for this lively show that’ll have kids singing and dancing to the beat. Saturday, October 15 at 2 p.m. is a sensory-friendly performance. Oct. 29, 2022 at 11 a.m. & 1:30 p.m. | Family Theater Kennedy-Center.org (202) 467-4600 Groups call (202) 416-8400 For all other ticket-related customer service inquiries, call the Advance Sales Box Office at (202) 416-8540 14  Washington FAMILY  OCTOBER 2022 Kennedy-Center.org/COVIDsafety Montessori School of McLean Where Authentic Montessori Meets the 21st Century: Ages 2-12 SDI_PRODUCTIONS GETTYIMAGES Cultivating each child’s unique ability to flourish in mind, body and spirit ENRICHMENTS • Science • Technology • Spanish • Outdoor Classroom • Library • Music • Drama • Art • Physical Education Extended Day • Transportation • Summer Camp 1711 Kirby Road McLean, VA 22101 703-790-1049 Accredited by www.mcleanmontessori.org WashingtonFAMILY.com  15 OPEN HOUSE/PRIVATE SCHOOL DIRECTORY Open House/ Private School Directory BY WF STAFF AIDAN MONTESSORI SCHOOL aidanschool.org admissions@aidanschool.org 202-387-2700 2700 27th Street, NW, Washington, DC 20008 Open Houses: 9:15 a.m. Oct. 14 & Nov, 4; 7:30 p.m. Nov. 16 (virtual) and 9:15 a.m. Dec. 2. Aidan Montessori School is a co-ed, independent private school for children ages 18 months through grade 6 located in Woodley Park, DC. Founded in 1961, Aidan prepares children to learn confidently, think independently, and succeed wherever they go. BASIS INDEPENDENT MCLEAN mclean.basisindependent.com stephanie.cancienne@basisindependent. com (admissions) 571.789.2256 (admissions) 8000 Jones Branch Dr., McLean, VA 22102 Information sessions: Virtual sessions at 12:15 p.m. Sept. 8 & 16; in-person session 9 a.m. Sept. 17. Grades: Preschool (age 2) - Grade 12 • Year Founded: 2016 • Coed • Enrollment: 470 • Student-Teacher Ratio 8:1 • Entrance Exam • Foreign Languages: Mandarin, Latin, Spanish, and French beginning in PK1 • Tuition Range: $25,500 - $30,000 • AP Classes • Enrichment Activities • Sports • Transportation • Extended Day • Summer Program Students, age 2-grade 12, receive a well-rounded, liberal arts curriculum with a STEM focus. (THE) BETHESDA MONTESSORI SCHOOL bethesdamontessori.com admissions@bethesdamontessori.com 301-986-1260 7611 Clarendon Road, Bethesda, MD 20814 Ages: 3-6 Open House: Tours by appointment; typically scheduled for 9:45am BMS, established in 1983, is located in the heart of Bethesda, offering two years of preschool and a kindergarten year. Open 8 a.m.-6 p.m., AMI trained teachers, art, French & computer offered, and after school activities. BROOKSFIELD SCHOOL brooksfieldschool.org sarah@brooksfieldschool.org 703-356-5437 1830 Kirby Road, McLean, VA 22101 Ages Served: 2-6 Open House: Call or submit a form online to schedule a tour. Mindfulness, nutrition, Spanish, dance, music & art, outdoor adventure program, extracurricular activities and summer camp. CHESTERBROOK ACADEMY chesterbrookacademy.com 866-267-5685 15 locations throughout the DMV Spring Education Group 1615 West Chester Pike, Suite 200 West Chester, PA 19382 484-947-2000 Chesterbrook Academy preschools combine learning experiences and structured play in a fun, safe and nurturing environment - offering far more than just child care. Preschool is the first introduction to a lifetime of learning, a journey that should start off on the right foot. We help children discover, explore and learn to their fullest potential. CELEBREE SCHOOL OF GERMANTOWN Montgomery County 20409 Seneca Meadows Prkwy Germantown, MD 20876 301-540-4600 Celebree.com/Germantown-md/ Ages/Grades: 6 weeks to 12 years Transportation: Gibbs, Snowden Farm, Germantown Elementary, Lake Seneca, Waters Landing, Ronald Menare CONGRESSIONAL SCHOOL congressionalschool.org gherbst@congressionalschool.org 703-533-1064 3229 Sleepy Hollow Road Falls Church, VA 22042 Ages 6 weeks - 3 years Open Houses: 9 a.m. Oct. 13 and Nov. 16; submit a form for an early childhood tour online and contact rdouglass@ congressionalschool.org to schedule a tour for pre-K to grade 8. A co-ed independent day school for infants to eighth graders in Falls Church, Va. Congressional School prepares young learners for future success, inspiring them to question, collaborate, create, and lead. FEYNMAN SCHOOL feynmanschool.org admissions@feynmanschool.org (301) 770-4370 (ask for admissions) 11810 Falls Road, Potomac, MD 20854 Grades: Preschool-Grade 8 Open House: October 13, November 16 The area’s leader in educating academically- gifted children, Feynman School features extraordinary programs in science, math, language arts, theater and music designed to maximize your child’s potential. GLENBROOK COOPERATIVE NURSERY SCHOOL glenbrookschool.org membership@glenbrookschool.org 301-365-3190 10010 Fernwood Road, Bethesda, MD 20817 16  Washington FAMILY  OCTOBER 2022 Hours: 9:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Open House: Call or email to schedule a tour. At Glenbrook, we nurture our children in the early, formative years so they can define themselves as individuals. We strive for this through spontaneous play in a controlled and time structured environment. We believe that children can feel secure only when they understand and trust a set of limits. Their imagination, curiosity and interests need time to wander, expand and develop within these limits. Cooperative nursery schools are administered and maintained by the parents, allowing everyone to grow and learn together. The special nature of Glenbrook is the close working relationship between parents and teachers. Our approach builds a sense of community and togetherness for parents and children. GUIDEPOST MONTESSORI guidepostmontessori.com/northern-virginia 866-202-8593 24328 Marrwood Drive, Aldie, VA 42945 Waxpool Road, Ashburn, VA 4550 Walney Road, Chantilly, VA 13251 Woodland Park Road, Herndon, VA Ages: Infant to elementary Guidepost Montessori in Loudoun and Fairfax counties is among a growing, worldwide network of schools that offer language immersion for ages infant through elementary. HOLLY BROOK MONTESSORI SCHOOL preschoolmontessori.com info@hollybrookmontessori.com 703 573-7800 2455 Gallows Road, Dunn Loring, VA 22027 Tours available by appointment Children learn in an intimate and unpretentious atmosphere, where they respect themselves and others and care for the environment around them. We offer a complete educational and social environment and utilize the discoveries and methods of Dr. Montessori to help the child develop more fully the potential within him. The school provides a program specially suited to the needs of the child and offers individual attention to his whole development. (THE) LANGLEY SCHOOL langleyschool.org admission@langleyschool.org 703-356-1920 1411 Balls Hill Rd. McLean, VA 22101 Hours: 8 a.m. - 4 p.m. Preschool through Grade 8 We offer a carefully designed preschool through grade 8 program that deeply respects your child’s earliest years as a time of profound, complex, joyful, and critical learning. Information Sessions: 9 a.m. Oct. 27 (Virtual), 9 a.m. Nov. 9 (On Campus), 9 a.m. Dec. 6 (On Campus) HUNTER MILL MONTESSORI SCHOOL preschoolmontessori.com info@huntermillmontessori.com 703-938-7755 2709 Hunter Mill Road, Oakton, VA 22124 Tours available by appointment Hunter Mill Montessori School provides an intimate and nurturing environment for 2.75 – 6 year olds to develop their independence through the Montessori experience. We offer a complete educational and social environment and utilize the discoveries and methods of Dr. Montessori to help the child develop more fully the potential within him. The school provides a program specially suited to the needs of the child and offers individual attention to his whole development. (THE) MANOR MONTESSORI SCHOOL 10500 Oaklyn Drive, Potomac, MD 20854 5450 Massachusetts Ave. Bethesda, MD 20816 11200 Old Georgetown Road Rockville, MD 20852 301-299-7400 manormontessori.com Ages: 2-9 Discover Maryland’s first Montessori School, teaching generations of children since 1962. Offering school day, extended day and summer day camp. (THE) MONTESSORI SCHOOL AT GOOSE CREEK PRESERVE goosecreekmontessori.com info@goosecreekmontessori.com 571 417-3999 42470 Rosalind Street, Ashburn, VA 20148 Tours available by appointment A brand new Montessori School in the Broadlands area of Ashburn. All of the classrooms are spacious with an abundance of natural lighting. The classrooms open to the playground with patios allowing children to freely work inside and outside. Goose Creek offers a complete educational and social environment and utilizes the discoveries and methods of Dr. Montessori to help the child develop more fully the potential within him. MONTESSORI SCHOOL OF CEDAR LANE preschoolmontessori.com info@cedarlanemontessori.com 703-560-4379 3035 Cedar Lane, Fairfax, VA 22031 Tours available by appointment Montessori School of Cedar Lane has been providing over 40 years of Montessori tradition to Northern Virginia. We offer a complete educational and social environment and utilize the discoveries and methods of Dr. Montessori to help the child develop more fully the potential within him. MONTESSORI SCHOOL OF MCLEAN mcleanmontessori.org 703-790-1049 1711 Kirby Road, McLean, VA 22101 Ages: 2-12 Open House: Call to schedule a tour. Preschool and elementary classes. Spanish, French, science, drama, music, P.E., computer, art, summer school, transportation available. OPEN HOUSE/PRIVATE SCHOOL DIRECTORY NYSMITH SCHOOL nysmith.com; ebalberde@nysmith.com 703-713-3332 13625 EDS Drive, Herndon, VA 20171 Ages Served: 3 yrs.-8th Grade Hours: 7 a.m.-6:30 p.m. Virtual live tour/info session 10 a.m. daily; Contact Kmeadows@nysmith.com to schedule an in-person tour. The award winning Nysmith School is committed to making school fun. We nurture your student’s love of learning and help your child learn to their potential. Our 1:9 ratio allows us to differentiate the academic program up to 4 grade levels above grade. OLDFIELDS SCHOOL oldfieldsschool.org admission@oldfieldsschool.org 410-472-4800 1500 Glencoe Road, Sparks, Glencoe, MD 21152 Grade Range: 8-12; Type: Girls Average Class Size: 7 Teacher-Student Ratio: 1 to 5 Before-School Care: Yes After-School Care: Yes Open House: Saturday, October 15. Personal information sessions and tours offered weekly by contacting admissions office ONENESS-FAMILY MONTESSORI HIGH SCHOOL onenessfamily.org/ admissions@onenessfamily.org 240-426-2614 9411 Connecticut Ave. Kensington, MD 20895 9:00 AM - 5:30 PM; Serving students from 2 years through grade 12 Virtual Tours for high school on Thursdays at 11:00 AM For 30 years, Oneness-Family School’s award winning Montessori program has served families of students 2 years - grade 12. OFS features highly trained, supportive teachers and a diverse, engaged parent community. We create a collaborative learning environment where everyone feels successful. We foster students who are prepared to lead and succeed in a changing, challenging world by balancing college prep academics with a focus on well- being and shared values such as empathy, inclusion and equity. ONENESS-FAMILY MONTESSORI SCHOOL onenessfamily.org admissions@onenessfamily.org 6701 Wisconsin Ave., Chevy Chase, MD 20815 Admissions: 301-652-7751 Ages 2 - Grade 8 Virtual tours for Lower School on Tuesdays and Fridays at 9:30 AM For 30 years, Oneness-Family School has served families who value student-centered learning and personal growth alongside a rigorous and award-winning Montessori curriculum. (THE) SIENA SCHOOL thesienaschool.org info@thesienaschool.org Silver Spring Campus 1300 Forest Glen Road Silver Spring, MD 20901 301-244-3600 Oakton Campus 2705 Hunter Mill Road, Oakton, VA 22124 703-745-5900 Virtual tours of Oakton at 9:30 a.m. Tuesdays and of Silver Spring at 9:30 a.m. Wednesdays. The Siena School provides highly individualized, research-based, multisensory instruction and curriculumrelated field trips. Students develop critical thinking skills and acquire the tools and strategies needed to become successful and independent learners who are prepared for college. SPRING BILINGUAL MONTESSORI ACADEMY spring-bilingual.org admissions@spring-bilingual.org 301-962-7262 3514 Plyers Mill Road Kensington, MD 20895 Ages: 2-6; Hours: 7:30 a.m.-6:30 p.m. Open House: Dates every November and January; Submit an online form and admissions will contact you in the fall. Montessori preschool with Foreign Language programs. SPRINGWELL SCHOOL springwell.school info@springwell.school (301) 338-8273 9525 Colesville Road, Silver Spring, MD 20901 Grades: K-4 A progressive school offering a unique blend of Waldorf, Montessori, and Reggio Emilia. WESTMINSTER SCHOOL westminsterschool.com admissions@westminsterschool.com 703-256-3620 Preschool (3 and 4-year-olds) - Grade 8 3819 Gallows Road, Annandale, VA 22003 Open House: Virtual open house 4 p.m. Oct. 6; in-person at 8:30 a.m. Oct. 19 ; virtual 4 p.m. Dec. 6 and in-person at 8:30 a.m. Jan. 24. Schedule a tour by emailing admissions or calling Admissions Director Jori Sapper at 703-256-3620 ext. 17. Westminster School provides a unique Preschool-Middle School education based on a classical curriculum; accelerated academics enhanced by the arts; and an emphasis on personal responsibility and good character. Students enjoy small classes taught by teachers who specialize in their field.  T OVE R 6 0 Y E ARS OF MON T E SSORI E XCE L L EN C E OPEN HOUSES OCT 14, NOV 4 & 16 18 MONTHS TO GRADE 6 Schedule your visit at aidanschool.org 202.387.2700 | 2700 27 th Street NW, Washington, DC WashingtonFAMILY.com  17 HEALTHY FAMILY Mammogram Myths BY EMILY ROSE BARR Myth #1: Mammograms are incredibly painful. While many women will feel pain or dis- comfort during their mammogram, in my 18  Washington FAMILY  OCTOBER 2022 with a mammography if they wish to do so. By age 45, women should get an annual mammo- gram regardless of their risk status. Women who may be at greater risk include those who have a BRCA1 or BRCA2 mutation; who are an untested family member of someone who has a BRCA1 or BRCA2 mutation; who have a history of mantle or chest radiation which occurred before age 30; or have a lifetime breast cancer risk of 20% or greater based on their family history. About 1 in 8 U.S. women (13%) will develop invasive breast cancer during her lifetime. Get- ting annual mammograms can help doctors detect breast cancer early, sometimes up to Myth #2: My breasts are too three years before it can be felt. Studies have small for a mammogram. shown that screening mammography can Some women worry that their breasts are too reduce breast cancer deaths in women ages 40 small to have a mammogram, but the truth is, to 74 years at average risk of breast cancer, with if you have breast tissue, you can have a mam- the benefit being most pronounced in women mogram. In other words, whatever your cup ages 50 to 69 years. No studies, however, have size may be, every woman has enough breast shown a benefit from regular screening mam- tissue for the procedure. mography in women under age 40 or from baseline screening mammography (mammo- Myth #3: I don’t need to get grams taken for comparison) before age 40. annual mammograms if I’m not Other early detection practices include hav- in the high-risk group. ing an annual physical exam by your doctor; According to the American Cancer Society, ultrasound imaging (used to help diagnose beginning at age 40, women should have the breast lumps or other abnormalities found choice to start yearly breast cancer screening experience, the pain was negligible, and far from the agony I’d prepared for. The discom- fort was mild and lasted only as long as the procedure itself (about 10 minutes.) Accord- ing to the CDC, the skill of the technologist, the size of your breasts, and how much they need to be pressed all influence what you feel. In addition, your breasts may be more sensitive if you are about to get or have your period, so it’s recommended to avoid sched- uling your appointment during this week or the week before. PROSTOCK-STUDIO / ADOBESTOCK T his past July, I got my first mammogram. At the ripe age of 34. I’m not your typi- cal candidate. For most women, annual mammograms are recommended beginning at age 40-45. In all likelihood, the lump I’d found that prompted the visit was a cyst. I’d had a couple before, both of which were benign, and while there’s no rhyme or reason for why some women develop them and others don’t, this felt like familiar territory to me. Even so, the ambiguity that accompanied my probable diagnosis was enough to leave me feeling anxious and afraid. After all, I’d heard that mammograms were akin to medieval torture, and I was not envious of the women who’d undergone them. Where did this rumor come from? Did I have good reason to dread entry into my fourth decade? I’m here to debunk some of the myths surrounding this potentially life-saving pro- cedure that so often evokes doom and gloom, and spread the word about the importance of receiving annual screenings. during a physical exam;) and completing breast self-exam- inations, or regularly examining your breasts on your own. Most importantly, if you notice a lump or any suspicious changes in your breasts, don’t postpone seeking medi- cal advice or treatment out of fear of what it might entail. Here are some tips if the M-word still makes you want to run and hide: • ASk a trusted friend or family member to go with you to your appointment. Offer to return the favor or take them out to lunch as a thank you! • Tell the technician that you’re nervous, especially if it’s your first time. My tech put me at ease within minutes and kept me laughing for most of the visit, and it made all the difference. • If you’re concerned about pain, ask your doctor about tak- ing a painkiller beforehand. He or she will know what to recommend based on your medical record and history. • Do some relaxation exercises while you wait. Take deep breaths, do a guided meditation, stretch, listen to music, read, or watch something that makes you laugh. I hope you feel at ease whether you’re a first-timer or are BFFs with your tech. As for my mammogram? I’m pleased to report that the results were benign, and I don’t need to begin regular screenings until I’m 40. Instead of dreading this rite of passage, I feel grateful for a way to look after my health and take care of a body that continues to take care of me.  T Helpful Links and Resources: NIH National Cancer Institute: cancer.gov/types/breast/mammograms-fact-sheet CDC: cdc.gov/cancer/breast/basic_info/mammograms.htm cdc.gov/cancer/breast/pdf/breast-cancer-screening- guidelines-508.pdf cdc.gov/cancer/breast/index.htm Health Images: How Are Mammo-grams Done on Small Breasts? healthimages.com/how-are-mammograms-done-on- small-breasts/ Breastcancer.org: breastcancer.org/facts-statistics breastcancer.org/screening-testing/breast-self-exam-bse Radiologyinfo.org: Breast Ultrasound https://www.radiologyinfo.org/en/info/breastus Cancer.org cancer.org/cancer/breast-cancer.html Language • Math • Art Music • Science • Sports Day Care • Camp EXPLORE • WONDER • GROW >LUV^OH]LHZLJVUK JHTW\ZPU5VY[OLU=PYNPUPH For bright students with language-based SLHYUPUNKPɈLYLUJLZSPRLK`ZSL_PH Silver Spring Campus 1300 Forest Glen Road Silver Spring, MD 20901 301.244.3600 Northern Virginia Campus 2705 Hunter Mill Road Oakton, VA 22124 703.745.5900 Now Enrolling Ages 2 to 6 Toddler Program • Before & After Care Outdoor Education Classroom Montessori Kindergarten & Preschool Advanced Academic Curriculum McLean, VA • 703-356-5437 • www.brooksfieldschool.org WashingtonFAMILY.com  19 How to Have an Autism-Friendly Halloween B Y ELE A N O R LI N A FELT EXPERTS WEIGH IN ON CHALLENGES AND SOLUTIONS “Although it is important to remember every child is different, people with autism spectrum disorders generally tend to pre- fer structure and predictability, and it may be difficult to participate in activities that are not a part of their regular routine,” says Caitlin Shapiro, a clinical social worker at Silver Psychotherapy in Ijamsville, Maryland. Many elements of Halloween can be par- ticularly challenging for kids on the autism spectrum. “Halloween can be scary for some kids on the spectrum due to the darkness, noise levels, masks and costumes,” says Jamila Tucker-Mulero, founder of Autism R.E.C., a Philadelphia-based organization that pro- vides education programs and resources to families with autistic children. Her 13-year- old son has autism, and the scary sounds of Halloween displays frighten him the most. The interactions with strangers that are part of trick-or-treating may also be uncomfortable for some kids with autism. “Children may feel less com- fortable interacting with neighbors and people whom they are less familiar with. Therefore, ringing a doorbell and saying ‘trick or treat’ feels like a big deal,” says Meagan Wills, a licensed clinical psychol- ogist at the Center for Autism Spectrum Disorders at Children’s National Hospital in Washington, D.C. “Moreover, language impairments may interfere with a child’s ability to say ‘trick or treat.’” Costumes can also present issues. “Store-bought costumes may have itchy material that makes it difficult for those who have sensory sensitivities,” Wills says. 20  Washington FAMILY  OCTOBER 2022 | WAYS TO MAKE HALLOWEEN A FUN AND COMFORTABLE EXPERIENCE FOR YOUR CHILD Matt Edelstein—a licensed psychologist and licensed behavior analyst at the Behavior Management Clinic in the Department of Behavior Psychology at Kennedy Krieger Institute in Baltimore, Maryland—recog- nizes that it can be hard for parents to push their kids to try new things while wanting to protect them from distressing experiences. For parents of kids on the autism spec- trum who find Halloween a challenging time, the best step parents can take is “pre- pare them the best that you can and have an easy escape plan.” Edelstein recommends that parents consider the following questions before trick-or-treating begins: F Will it be helpful to preview the trick-or- treat route with my child before it turns dark? F Should I allow my child to wear a cos- tume before Halloween so that he or she can get accustomed to the fit? F Should we practice the steps of knock- ing on a new person’s door and waiting appropriately so that my child knows what trick-or-treating involves? F What are the components of the cele- bration to avoid entirely given my child’s functioning level? It’s also helpful to plan an easy way out of the trick-or-treating if something comes up that is too overwhelming for the child and ruins the experience. “Having a friend or a partner following along a trick-or-treat route in a car, or bringing a stroller with a tablet and earphones are both good options for a quick extraction,” Edelstein says. Parents can also plan alternatives to trick-or-treating that might make their kids feel more comfortable while still participat- ing in Halloween celebrations. AUTISM-FRIENDLY | IDENTIFY ACTIVITIES AND EVENTS “Fortunately, as much the world seeks to become more inclusive, there are more opportunities for individuals with autism to participate in Halloween festivities. Many communities have movie theaters or live events advertised as ‘sensory friendly,’” Edelstein says. “These activities tend to lighten the sensory load for children by reducing the volume of loud noises and minimizing bright, flashing lights.” Every year, Autism R.E.C. hosts an autism-friendly Halloween party in Philadelphia. This year’s event will be held Saturday, Oct. 29. And, of course, staying home and plan- ning small family festivities is always an option if going out for trick-or-treating or parties feels too overwhelming. “If staying home is preferred, you can also consider a scavenger hunt in your home or backyard and hide candy for your child to find,” Shapiro says. “Individual activities such as pumpkin painting, movie night or baking festive treats may also be fun.” Ultimately, parents know their chil- dren best and what specific elements of Halloween might present challenges, as well as what they will most enjoy. “Every child is unique,” Shapiro says. “You can help them navigate how they will be able to participate in the holiday by exploring these ideas beforehand so they feel prepared and equipped to celebrate in whatever way they can.”  � MONSTERS: BEASTFROMEAST / DIGITALVISION VECTORS; BACKGROUND: GALYNA_P / GETTY IMAGES FOR MANY FAMILIES, HALLOWEEN IS A HOLIDAY TO UNWIND AND HAVE FUN. But for children on the autism spectrum who rely on predictability to maintain a sense of order, the deviations from normalcy that are part of Halloween celebra- tions can present challenges for them. INCLUSIVE FAMILY RESOURCES There are myriad appoint- ments, specialists, terms and considerations for parents of children with disabilities. Washington Family wants families to breathe deep and have all this information in one place as an easy reference and helpful guide. HERRAEZ / ISTOCK / GETTY IMAGES PLUS In addition to resources and terms, we are also sharing stories of local teens with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome for invisible disbilties awareness and looking at how parents can best determine if private schooling is best for their child’s special education. e v i s u l Inc y il m a F   T SPECIAL EDUCATION: Are Private Schools the Answer? PUBLIC OR PRIVATE? THERE IS NO ONE CORRECT ANSWER WHEN IT COMES TO WHICH EDUCATION SETTING IS RIGHT FOR YOUR CHILD. WHEN PARENTS HAVE TO CONSIDER OPTIONS FOR CHILDREN WITH UNIQUE SUPPORT NEEDS, THE WATER ONLY GETS MUDDIER. Public schools have definite benefits for children seeking special education, as do private schools, but the answer often depends on what’s best for your individual child—and it’s up to you to make the final decision. Here we take a look at public and private education models, using private special education programs or schools in Baltimore, the DMV, Frederick County and the Delaware Valley to illustrate key factors you should evaluate when choosing a private special education option for your child. But first, we need to clarify what we mean by private education. 22  Washington FAMILY  OCTOBER 2022 WHAT DEFINES A PRIVATE SCHOOL? When talking about private schools— especially within the context of special education—it’s important to note the distinction between private and nonpublic schools. Nonpublic schools are not part of the public school system but can provide stu- dent services through state and federal programs in the public school district where the school is located, according to the New Jersey Department of Education, serving parts of the Delaware Valley region. So special education students in these schools would go through the same pro- cess as public school students to receive an individualized education program (IEP) plan or 504 plan. Private schools, however, are privately funded and charge tuition. They provide their own services and are not required to accept all students. Nonpublic schools can be indepen- dent or private, but independent schools have their own board of trustees oversee- ing operations, while private schools can be part of another entity, such as a church, synagogue or corporation. ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES CLASS SIZE Private schools can be a worthwhile option for students with disabilities because of their flexibility to support smaller class sizes. Specialized instruction can be administered as directly as 1:1 or programs can be tailored to your child’s unique learning experience. According to a study on class size reduc- tion published in the International Journal of Special Education, however, class size is not the most important factor. Students with disabilities benefit most when teach- ers have specific inclusion training for children with additional needs. The Auburn School, serving Fairfax, Va., Silver Spring, Md. And Washington D.C., has a special focus on challenges with communication and language, and operates in a “highly personalized learn- ing environment for children through small class sizes, individualized learning plans and a supportive school setting,” according to the school. This allows teachers to devote more attention to each student, and for students with disabilities, that interaction can make KID-A / GETTY IMAGES BY HEATHER M. ROSS a world of difference in how much they get from their time in the classroom. However, the biggest indicator of suc- cess in the classroom when it comes to students with disabilities is the training given to teachers, the International Journal of Special Education reiterates. There are benefits to larger class sizes, too. While public school classes can be larger than private school classes, they are also made up of a more diverse pool of students whom each bring their own experiences, cultures and personalities to the classroom. So, your child might thrive with a more well-rounded and diverse peer group. COST AND FUNDING One of the biggest concerns parents have when choosing a private school over a public school is cost of tuition. However, private schools geared toward support- ing students with disabilities often have financial aid programs or scholarships, and in some situations costs are covered by insurance. Some religious schools, such as Chapelgate Christian Academy in Marriottsville, offer discounts to fami- lies who are members of their associated church. Chapelgate also offers tuition payment plans that can be spread out over 10 months. Public schools do not charge tuition, but resources available for students with dis- abilities and the quality of education can vary widely between school districts. Call your local public school and ask about what support services they can provide and compare with the private schools you’re considering. Schools with high academic achieve- ment thresholds may have more flexibility for students applying specifically to their disability support programs. TEACHER TRAINING Teacher training is one area where pri- vate schools geared toward students with disabilities have an advantage over pub- lic schools. With teachers who are familiar with how to interact with students who have unique learning styles, students who might otherwise fall through the cracks can get the support they need to learn and grow in their own way. The Odyssey School, in Lutherville, serving students with dyslexia and other learning disabilities that affect study habits and language comprehension, for example, notes how it’s helpful for students to be in an environment in which their learning style is not only accommodated but is part of the teaching style. “Mainstream schools expect students to be increasingly independent in study hab- its, organization, and time management skills. Without explicit instruction and support in these skills, students who are in other schools may experience frustra- tion and apathy,” reads a statement on the school’s website. To find out what needs-specific resources private schools have, first check their websites and then call the school with a clear explanation of your child’s needs and any past deficiencies in their previous educational environment. Private schools that are focused on one type of support provide teachers with extensive training and resources designed with your child in mind. If your child isn’t thriving in either setting—whether it be general education or special education—it might be time for a change. RESOURCES The right school for your child won’t be the right school for everyone’s child. That’s why when you are selecting a school, com- munication about your needs with school administration is vital. Before beginning your search, talk with any physical therapists, occupational ther- apists, speech therapists or other medical professionals who know your child and their needs well. They will likely also be familiar with schools that may offer additional support. Some of these schools may have new THE RIGHT SCHOOL for your child won’t be the right school for everyone’s child. That’s why when you are selecting a school, communication about your needs with school administration is vital. approaches or uniquely helpful methods. In addition to its academic pro- grams, the Delaware Valley School for Exceptional Children also offers social emotional programming that works with students on self-esteem enhance- ment, social skills, anger management, coping skills, healthy relationships and lifestyle behaviors. To find out more about what services your local public school can provide, you can contact your school district and request copies of their Section 504 plan. A 504 plan provides the accommodations some students need to thrive in a general education setting. SPECIAL CONSIDERATIONS When considering a private school, there is no one-size-fits-all model. Here are some additional questions to consider. DOES MY SCHOOL HAVE A MULTIDISCIPLINARY TEAM? Auburn’s education model has a social element, so to provide comprehensive social emotional learning, each student works with a social learning specialist, a behavior support specialist, a curricu- lum and instructional specialist and an occupational therapist as needed. If your child needs specific coaching, or thrives with attention to multiple areas, it’s important to make sure these services will be available at your school. DOES MY SCHOOL HAVE A BEHAVIOR MODEL? Some students thrive on positive rein- forcement, a key focus at the Delaware Valley School for Exceptional Children, which has a behavior modification program with a built-in reward system. So if you feel this method is right for your child, you might want to look for other schools that incorporate it into their teaching. Other students might also benefit from working with a counselor. The Delaware Valley school’s counselors are trained to address topics such as behav- ioral responsibility, responsible decision making and character education (respect, responsibility, trustworthiness, caring, fairness and citizenship). Above all, don’t forgot to loop your child into these decisions—they will know their needs best.  P WashingtonFAMILY.com  23 Wow, You’re Really Flexible WHAT EHLERS DANLOS SYNDROME IS (AND ISN’T) BY LINDSAY VANASDALAN 24  Washington FAMILY  OCTOBER 2022 FLEXIBILITY IS USUALLY DESCRIBED AS A POSITIVE TRAIT IN CHILDREN. THEY MIGHT BE ABLE TO DO PARTY TRICKS LIKE BEND THEIR PINKY BACKWARDS OR ALWAYS HIT A SPLIT IN GYMNASTICS. BUT, IF THOSE SKILLS COME WITH CHRONIC PAIN, YOUR CHILD COULD BE LIVING WITH A DISABILITY WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING IT. Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (or syndromes) (EDS)—which affects the range of mobility in the joints—is often un- derdiagnosed in children, leaving many navigating mul- tiple specialists and chronic pain for years— sometimes even into adulthood. Yet with the ebb and flow of symptoms, it’s a condition that can be misunderstood by peers—leading many to wonder, “Is it even real?” Children with invisible disabili- ties face the same questions every day. For the Invisible Disabilities Association’s Invisi- ble Disabilities Week, Oct. 16-22, we talk to local teens about what it’s like to experience a disability the world cannot always see. WHAT IS EDS? Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS) has three main types, but the most common is hypermobile EDS (hEDS) in which there is a greater range of mobility in the joints. Dislocations, abnormal skin issues related to weakened connective tissue—stretch marks, abnormal wound healing and scarring—and loose and sensitive skin, are all typical, says Dr. Mahim Jain, co-director of the connective tissue multi-disciplinary clinic at Kennedy Krieger Institute. Without strong connections, “ultimately it leads to a lot of instability in the body, which can cause all sorts of osteopathic, orthopedic and muscular dysfunctions,” adds Jennifer Berman, of Pikes- ville, who co-founder of the Ehlers-Danlos Research Foundation with Dr. Elizabeth Zing- man, of Silver Spring. Sometimes injuries can occur even just get- ting bumped hard enough in the hallway on the way to class. Because connective tissue disorders affect all parts of the body, it’s often tricky to recognize the big- ger picture— unless you know what to look for—which is why many patients, especially children, can go decades without a diagnosis. ‘IT’S JUST GROWING PAINS’ Ren Marrill, 16, first noticed symptoms around age 7, but doctors didn’t start to suspect anything until age 11 when a sprained ankle turned into complex regional pain syn- drome. “I was getting a lot of pain in my ankles and back and, you know, like any other person I went to my primary care doctor—my pediatrician—and he said, ‘oh, it’s just grow- ing pains.’ Yeah, it really wasn’t,” Ren says. Because the criteria for determining joint flexibility starts in the teenage years, it can be hard to diagnose chil- dren, but if the pain persists and interferes with daily ac- tivities, likely it’s EDS, Jain says. Ren was finally diagnosed with EDS a little over a year ago. Others have had similar stories with hEDS. Zachary Kushner, 15, was diagnosed in 2021, nine years after first noticing symptoms of small fiber neuropathy and pain. Sixteen-year-old Andy, of New Market, received a diagno- sis in 2021 after 8 years of symptoms. Both were treated by Dr. Jain. Andy recalls they got injured a lot more than their fel- low dancers but didn’t know why. There was never a cause from doctors. “They would just give individual diagnoses for each acute problem,” Andy says. The onset of EDS can be gradual or more sudden, as in the case of a physical trauma, Jain adds. That’s what happened to Zach. The Hyattsville teen first started developing health issues after an allergic reaction at age 5. First came the neuropathy pain and then concus- sions from small incidents that wouldn’t normally con- cuss—since he was more prone to these injuries with EDS. His doctors prioritized treating his acute concussions rather than trying to piece together a connection with other developing symptoms. When it comes to diagnosing EDS, doctors also tend to more often recognize the symptoms of two of its most common comorbidities—the dizziness associated with POTS (a form of disautonomia) or the characteristic rashes of mass cell activation syndrome, Jain says. UNDERDIAGNOSED, NOT RARE Though most types of EDS are “rare to ultra-rare,” hEDS is not. Experts say prevalence figures are underestimates based on underdiagnoses and misdiagnoses, which is im- portant for healthcare professionals to know because com- mon conditions are given more priority and resources. “For too many in our community, this is not an imagi- GIRL: KWANCHAICHAIUDOM; GRAPHIC: CUNDRA, RIBBON: ELENA PIMUKOVA / ISTOCK / GETTY IMAGES; CIRCLES: ULIMI / DIGITALVISION VECTORS WashingtonFAMILY.com  25 regular time, good nutrition and hygiene can keep body working smoothly. Common treatments that help with EDS include regular physi- cal therapy, pain medications for symptomatic relief and mental health services, he says. And one of the most important things is being active. Some might be surprised to learn what you can and can’t do with EDS. Dr. Kristen Kouvel, phys- ical therapist at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, has worked with EDS patients for 10 years. Being active when young lessens risk for comorbidities, she says. When Andy stopped dancing in prep for a hip surgery, they noticed an immediate difference. Though 15 or more hours per week was too much, having some dance alongside PT provides the best result. Many kids and teens with EDS have active hobbies, too. Zach still continues with sports such as rock climbing and swimming, and though Berman’s daughter Abby (who also has symptoms of EDS) can’t participate in gym class, horseback riding is a favorite. It’s not as scary as it might seem. It’s scarier not knowing what you have.,” Zach says. “There are more things you can do once you know.” Even with appropriate treatments, there’s no easy fix that pre- vents all the bad days. But Ren found local and international sup- port groups, and even a close childhood friend who was later diag- nosed with EDS. “It’s helpful knowing there are so many other teens like you out there,” Ren says.  T KNEES: ANDRIANO_CZ / ISTOCK / GETTY IMAGES nary state; it is a lived experience (Halv- erson et al., 2021),” notes the Ehlers Danlos Society. A lack of information on the dis- order has led many patients to do their own research—including a research team of students with EDS who might have identified a gene mutation associated with hEDS at the Norris Lab in South Carolina. Though the genetic link is not de- finitive, it’s common to see hEDS run in families. Some EDS patients, such as Zach’s mother Debbie—who is managing director at the research foundation—found out later in life. Debbie Kushner recalls finding out her pain was not regular when her question, “You know like when you run down stairs and every step just hurts your body?” was met with shock. If you have pain as your baseline, you might think everyone else does, too. “For the longest time, until I was 11, I had no idea what was nor- mal,” Ren says. “I played competitive soccer, and I always thought I was a wimp because I ran a lot slower than the other kids, and I was in a lot of pain.” Andy says there’s a common phrase in the medical community that trains doctors not to ignore commonplace causes in favor of more unique conditions. The problem: they tend to assume the more common “horse” over the unusual “zebra.” The EDS community has reconfigured the phrase: “Well, some- times it is a zebra, and no two stripes are same,” Andy says. REN ZACH ANDY (As pictured) Zach enjoys sports, music and professional acting and hopes to study medicine or law. Ren loves showing dairy goats and wants to be a child life specialist. Andy loves musicals, dance and crocheting stuffed animals. 26  Washington FAMILY  OCTOBER 2022 PHOTOS COURTESY OF ZACH, REN, AND ANDY LIFE AS A ZEBRA Living with EDS is a challenge, but there are many accommodations both at home and in the classroom that can help children better navigate daily life. At school, Andy reduces stress on their back with digital book options, and teachers provide extended time on work and flexible seating so they can get up and move around as needed. Ren used to wake up with more dislocated joints, but strategic place- ment of pillows and blankets helps. Jain also recommends using good health practices — going to bed at a THE ABC ’S OF SPECIAL NEEDS ABA Applied Behavior Analysis ADA Americans with Disabilities Act ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder ADL Activities of Daily Living ALJ Administrative Law Judge ALT-MSA Alternative Maryland School Assessment APE Adaptive Physical Education ASD Autism Spectrum Disorder AT Assistive Technology AYP Annual Yearly Progress BIP Behavior Intervention Plan BMP Behavior Management Plan CAPD Central Auditory Processing Disorder CFR Code of Federal Regulations CME Care Management Entity COMAR Code of Maryland Regulations CP Cerebral Palsy DB Deaf Blind DD Developmental Disability or Developmental Delay DDA Developmental Disabilities Administration, Maryland Department of Health DDC Developmental Disabilities Council DORS Division of Rehabilitation Services, Maryland State Department of Education ED Emotional Disturbance EI Early Intervention ESY Extended School Year services FAPE Free Appropriate Public Education FBA Functional Behavioral Assessment FERPA Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act FSS Family Support Services HFA High Functioning Autism HSA (Maryland) High School Assessments IAES Interim Alternative Educational Setting IDEA Individuals with Disabilities Education Act IEP Individualized Education Program IFSP Individualized Family Service Plan IPE Individualized Plan for Employment ISS Individual Support Services LCC Local Coordinating Council LD Learning Disabilities LEA Local Educational Agency LEP Limited English Proficiency LISS Low-Intensity Support Services LITP Local Infants and Toddlers Program LMB Local Management Board LRE Least Restrictive Environment LSS Local School System MA Medical Assistance or Mental Age MANSEF Maryland Association of Nonpublic Special Education Facilities MD Muscular Dystrophy MDH Maryland Department of Health MDLC Maryland Disability Law Center MITP Maryland Infants and Toddlers Program M-PAC Maryland’s Parent Advisory Council MR Mental Retardation MSA Maryland School Assessment MSDE Maryland State Department of Education NICU Neonatal Intensive Care Unit NLD/NVLD Nonverbal Learning Disability OAH Office of Administrative Hearings OCD Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder OCR Office for Civil Rights, U.S. Department of Education OGCSHCN Office for Genetics and Children with Special Health Care Needs, Maryland Department of Health OHI Other Health Impairment OT Occupational Therapy P&A Protection and Advocacy Agency PBIS Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports PBS Positive Behavioral Support PLOP Present Level of Performance PT Physical Therapy RTI Response to Intervention SCC State Coordinating Council SEA State Education Agency SECAC Special Education Citizens’ Advisory Committee SICC State Interagency Coordinating Council SLD Specific Learning Disability SPD Sensory Processing Disorder SSA Social Security Administration SSI Supplemental Security Income SST Student Support Team ST Speech Therapy TBI Traumatic Brain Injury TDD Telecommunications Device for the Deaf TS Tourette Syndrome TTY Teletypewriter (for the hearing or speech impaired) WashingtonFAMILY.com  27 TEAR OUT AND USE THIS SHEET FOR SCHOOL AND CAMP VISITS, BOTH VIRTUAL AND IN-PERSON. What to Ask When You Search for a ... School [] Which staff members will be working with my child? [] Can I visit and meet the staff members ahead of time? [] What type of medical assistance is available on-site? [] How can I best reach staff members with questions about my child’s overall progress? [] What is a typical day like? [] Would my child be a good fit for inclusion? [] What support will my child need — from the school and at home — to be successful? [] Does the school provide any transportation modifications? [] Are there scholarship opportunities? [] What other resources in the community are available for my child’s specific disability or medical condition? COURTESY OF GETTY IMAGES 28  Washington FAMILY  OCTOBER 2022 Camp [] Is the camp inclusive to all members of the community or does it focus on one group? [] Can the camp provide the necessary accommodations for my child (specialty staffing and sensory and dietary provisions, for example)? [] What is an average day at camp like? [] How is staff recruited and trained? [] What kind of medical assistance is available on-site? [] If there is swimming, what safety measures are taken around the pool? [] Can I visit the camp ahead of time and meet with my child’s counselor? [] Is transportation assistance available for families? [] Are there scholarship opportunities? Word FOR Word Activities of Daily Living Everyday skills a person needs to learn to function, such as dressing, bathing, hygiene skills and communication. Adapted Physical Education Physical education that has been modified to meet the needs of children with disabilities. Adaptive Equipment Equipment or additions to equipment that better enhance the ability of an individual with special needs to function. See entry for “Assistive Technology Device.” Adequate Yearly Progress (AYP) The minimum levels of improvement, measurable in terms of student performance, that schools must achieve within time frames specified in the No Child Left Behind Act. Administrative Law Judge (ALJ) An impartial hearing officer who presides over due process hearings in appeals under the IDEA. May also mediate disagreements under the IDEA when the parties have agreed to mediation. Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) A federal civil rights law that prohibits discrimination against people with disabilities in employment and public services as well as public accommodations. Annual Evaluation The meeting conducted each year to evaluate the Individualized Family Service Plan (IFSP) for a child and the child’s family and, as appropriate, to revise its provisions. Annual Goal Assistive Technology (AT) The application of technology, engineering or scientific principles to meet the needs of, and address the barriers confronted by, individuals with special needs. Assistive Technology Device An item, piece of equipment or product system, whether acquired commercially, modified or customized, that is used to increase, maintain or improve functional capabilities of a person with a disability. Assistive Technology (AT) Services A service that directly assists a child with a disability in the selection, acquisition or use of an assistive technology device. Behavioral Intervention Plan A proactive plan developed by the IEP team to address a student’s behavior using positive behavioral interventions, strategies and supports. Case Manager The person designated to coordinate all services for a student with an IEP or for an infant or toddler receiving early intervention services and that child’s family. Also known as a service coordinator. Child Find A program to identify, locate and evaluate children ages birth through 21 with disabilities who are in need of early intervention or special education and related services. Code of Federal Regulations (CFR) The published regulations developed by U.S. governmental agencies under federal statutes such as the IDEA and ADA. determine if a child has a disability and the type of early intervention or special education and related services the child needs. Extended School Year (ESY) Services An individualized extension of specific education and related services to a child with a disability that is provided beyond the normal school year at no cost to the parents. These services are determined by the child’s IEP team as being needed to provide Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE). Family Education Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) A federal law that sets rules about the privacy and confidentiality of educational records, parent access to educational records, parent amendment of educational records and the destruction of educational records. Functional Behavioral Assessment A process that examines a student’s behavior and determines how to address the behavior through the development of a specific Behavioral Intervention Plan. High School Assessment (HSA) Academic exams required to be taken by public high school students. Passing the HSA is a requirement for receiving a Diploma. Home and Hospital Teaching Educational services provided to a child who cannot attend school because of a temporary physical or emotional condition as certified by a physician, psychiatrist or certified school or licensed psychologist. IEP Meeting Statement in an IEP that describes the anticipated measurable progress that the child reasonably can be expected to achieve in one year in each area of identified need. Developmental Delay The presence of a condition or disability that prevents a child from acquiring or demonstrating skills within the expected age range. A prearranged meeting of the IEP team during which members of the team discuss matters related to the identification, evaluation, educational placement and the provision of FAPE for a child with a disability. Annual Review Due Process Hearing IEP Team Yearly meeting of the IEP team to review a child’s progress toward the goals and objectives in the child’s current IEP, and to revise the IEP, as appropriate, for the next year. Appeal A written request for a change in a decision or to make such a request. Assessment 1. The process of collecting information to be used by an IEP team to determine a child’s need for special education and related services. 2. The procedures used to determine the early intervention services needed by an eligible infant or toddler and the child’s family. A formal legal proceeding before an administrative law judge who listens to both sides of a dispute involving the IDEA and renders a decision based upon the law, or a similar proceeding before an impartial third party in disputes involving Section 504 (a part of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 that prohibits discrimination based upon disability.) Early Intervention (EI) A system of services provided by public and private agencies to support eligible children, birth to age 3, and their families, to enhance a child’s potential, growth and development. Evaluation The process of reviewing information from parents, data and assessment results to The group of people, which includes a child’s caregiver, responsible for identifying and evaluating children ages 3-21 with disabilities; developing, reviewing or revising IEPs and determining the placement of students with a disability in what’s called the least restrictive environment (LRE.) Inclusion Placing individuals with disabilities in age- or grade-appropriate school or community settings and activities with individuals without disabilities. Independent Educational Evaluation An assessment conducted by a qualified professional who is not employed by the school system responsible for the student’s education. WashingtonFAMILY.com  29 Individualized Education Program (IEP) A written statement of, and plan for, the special education and related services to be provided to students who have a disability identified under IDEA. Developed by the IEP team, the IEP describes the student’s present levels of performance, annual goals with benchmarks or short-term objectives, and describes specific special education and related services and supplementary aids that will be provided. The plan must specifically address the frequency, duration and location of services, and the methods that will be used to measure student progress. Individualized Family Service Plan (IFSP) A written plan for providing early intervention and other services to an eligible infant or toddler and to the child’s family. Individualized Plan for Employment (IPE) A written plan outlining the rehabilitation, vocational and employment services needed by a person with a disability or serious health condition to reach an employment goal. This plan is developed by the Department of Rehabilitative Services (DORS) for post-secondary use. Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) The federal law requiring states to provide a FAPE to identified students with disabilities in the least restrictive environment. The IDEA also requires states to provide early intervention services to infants and toddlers with disabilities, birth to age 3, and their families. Least Restrictive Environment (LRE) The IDEA requirement to educate students with disabilities to the maximum extent appropriate with peers who do not have disabilities. Local Care Team (LCT) LCTs are intended to support families in accessing services and supports. Local Care Teams include representatives of the local and regional child- and family-serving agencies, and serve as a place where families can get information from government agencies to help identify community resources, services or supports for their child. Local Lead Agency The local agency in each county and Baltimore City responsible for the planning, supervision, monitoring and technical assistance for implementing early intervention services for infants and toddlers with disabilities. Local Management Board (LMB) Board in each county and Baltimore City responsible for making decisions about local family and child service needs and implementing an interagency service delivery system to meet those needs. Local School System (LSS) The local public school system responsible for educating a child. Manifestation Determination The IEP or 504 team’s decision as to whether there is a connection between a student’s disability and any behavior that led to disciplinary action. Mediation The process of having a trained professional help families and representatives from a local school system or local lead agency reach an agreement about a child’s special education or early intervention services. Mediator A qualified individual selected by the Office of Administrative Hearings (OAH) to mediate a disagreement under the IDEA. Medical Assistance Department of Health programs that provide access to health care services for low-income residents, including the Maryland Medicaid Program. Natural Environment The home or community settings that are natural or typical for a child’s peers who have no disability. No Child Left Behind Act of 2001 (NCLB) The school services determined appropriate by the IEP team to meet the needs of a student with a disability in the least restrictive environment. Preschool Partners Preschool Partners support families when children transition from the Infants and Toddlers Program (ITP) to the local school system (LSS) preschool special education program or other community-based early childhood setting. Procedural Safeguards Standards and procedures to protect the rights of children, their parents and surrogate parents under the IDEA. Protection and Advocacy Agency (P&A) A nationwide system to protect and advocate for the rights of people with developmental disabilities. Reevaluation An evaluation conducted after an initial evaluation occurs. Referral The written request asking an IEP team to evaluate a child to determine if the child has a disability and is in need of receiving special education services. Related Services Developmental, corrective or supportive services needed by a student with a disability to benefit from special education. Residential Placement Placement of a child with a disability in an approved, specialized educational program provided in a facility that the child attends 24 hours a day. Respite Temporary child care provided to give a parent or caregiver time away from caregiving. Response to Intervention (RTI) A federal educational reform law designed to improve student achievement by establishing curriculum content and school performance standards for public school systems. A set of teaching procedures, or processes, used by educators to help students learn a skill or a lesson. Nonpublic Placement Review of existing information about a child to determine if the child has a disability and needs special education services. Placement of a student with a disability in an accredited, private, special education school at public expense. Nonpublic School An accredited, private, special education school. Periodic Review A review of the IFSP conducted every six months, or at another specified interval, or at a family’s request. 30  Washington FAMILY  OCTOBER 2022 Placement Screening Section 504 Refers to Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973, a federal law prohibiting discrimination on the basis of disability in programs and activities, public and private, that receive federal financial assistance. The 504 Plan is a written plan in compliance with Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973, specifying the accommodations and modifications necessary to prevent disability- based discrimination by schools, programs or agencies that receive federal funds. Sometimes called an Individual Accommodation Plan. Service Coordinator production of speech and communication skills. State Education Agency (SEA) The state agency responsible for the supervision of public elementary and secondary schools. State Lead Agency The individual selected by an early intervention team and designated in an IFSP to coordinate and facilitate early intervention services and integrate the family into the process. Also called a case manager. The state agency responsible for the planning, supervision, monitoring and technical assistance for implementing early intervention services for infants and toddlers with disabilities. Service Provider Aids, services and other supports provided in regular education classes or other education- related settings to enable a student with a disability to be educated in the least restrictive environment. An individual who provides special education or related services to students with disabilities. Special Education Specially designed instruction meeting the unique needs of a child with an educational disability under the IDEA. Speech and Language Pathology Services provided by a speech-language pathologist to improve or correct speech and language or communication disorders. In early intervention, services to support a child and the family and caregivers for enhancing the child’s Sizzling HOT DEALS Supplementary Aids and Services Supplemental Security Income (SSI) A federal income maintenance program administered by the Social Security Administration for individuals who meet certain financial and income requirements and are age 65 or older, or have a disability. Transition 1. For toddlers receiving early intervention services, a collaborative process involving families, the local Infants and Toddlers program, the public school system and, as appropriate, other community-based preschool programs to ensure uninterrupted provision of appropriate services when the child reaches age 3. 2. For students with disabilities, the process of moving from the school setting to post-school life. Transition Plan A statement of the transition services that will be needed by a student with a disability upon leaving the school setting and the responsibilities of the school and other agencies in providing these services to the student. Transition Services For students with disabilities, a coordinated set of services that promote movement from school to post-school life. Travel Training Instruction to enable students with disabilities to navigate the environment in which they live and learn skills necessary to move safely from place to place within that environment.  T • Custom Closets • Home Offices • Media Centers • Laundry Rooms • Mud Rooms 15 OFF % YOUR ENTIRE PROJECT plus free installation. Expires 10/15/22. 301-781-7387 WashingtonFAMILY.com  31 INCLUSIVE FAMILY RESOURCES General Disability RESOURCES ADVOCACY AUTISM SOCIETY OF NORTHERN VIRGINIA asnv.org 571-328-5792 10467 White Granite Drive, #324 Oakton, VA 22124 For more than 50 years, the Autism Society of Northern Virginia has led the way, advocating at the local, state and national levels to improve the quality of life for those in the disability community. DREAMS FOR KIDS DC dreamsforkidsdc.org Dreams for Kids DC, a nonprofit children’s charity, provides life-changing activities that empower children with physical and developmental disabilities to unite with their peers and realize their potential. Dreams for Kids DC provides life- changing experiences to more than 800 children with these disabilities for free while serving residents of Washington, Maryland and Virginia. LEGAL RESOURCES SHEFTER LAW, PA. shefterlaw.com 301-605-7303 110 N. Washington St., Suite 350 Rockville, MD 20850 Frances Shefter is an education attorney and advocate committed to helping clients have a Stress-Free IEP experience. Shefter Law, P.A. serves families of children with special needs. Employing her education background to IEP matters, Shefter offers strategy sessions, mediation services and due process responses. medical providers and more. THE STEEDMAN LAW GROUP steedmanlaw.net admin@steedmanlaw.net 410-645-0625 260 Gateway Drive, Suite 11-12B Bel Air, MD 21014 Experienced, compassionate, and effective legal representation and advocacy for children and adults with special needs. FORMED FAMILIES FORWARD formedfamiliesforward.org 703-539-2904 4031 University Drive, Suite 100 Fairfax, VA 22030 Formed Families Forward is a nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting foster, kinship and adoptive families of children and youth with disabilities and other special needs. The organization serves families, educators and child welfare professionals in the Northern Virginia region. The organization improves the developmental, educational, social, emotional and post-secondary outcomes for children and youth with disabilities and other needs. FAMILY SUPPORT & TRAINING AUTISM SPEAKS autismspeaks.org help@autismspeaks.org 888-AUTISM2 The Autism Speaks Response Team (ART) is an information line for the autism community. Team members are specially trained to provide personalized information and resources to people with autism and their families. CARE CONNECTION FOR CHILDREN inova.org/about-inova/inova-your- community/community-access-care/care- connection-children 703-698-2450 2700 Prosperity Ave., #295 Fairfax, VA 22031 Care Connection for Children is part of the Virginia Department of Health’s statewide network of excellence serving children and youth with disabilities. Their family-centered services help families apply for community programs and resources, communicate with schools and FITNESS FESTIVAL October 23 from 1 - 4 pm 10417-B Kensington Parkway, Kensington, MD 20895 Proceeds benefit Spirit Club Foundation's mission to make fitness accessible for people with disabilities www.spiritclubfoundation.org https://www.spiritclubfoundation.org/become-a-sponsor Fitness activities, music, raffles and awards! MARYLAND FAMILY NETWORK marylandfamilynetwork.org 410-659-7701 1001 Eastern Ave., Second Floor Baltimore, MD 21202 Formed in 2009 from the merger of two leading nonprofit organizations—the Maryland Committee for Children and Friends of the Family, the Maryland Family Network operates a statewide network of Family Support Centers that help hundreds of families with infants and toddlers to become stronger and self-sufficient. The organization’s Child Care Resource Centers offer state-of-the-art training, mentoring, coaching and other supports to Maryland’s dedicated child care workforce. Maryland Family Network’s LOCATE Child Care Special Needs Service is a free service available to any family who has a child with an IEP or an IFSP from birth through age 21. PATHWAYS EDUCATIONAL CONSULTING pathwayseducationalconsulting.com/ educational-consultant-montgomery-county- md-educational-advocate-montgomery- county-md 301-926-1081 Pathways Educational Consulting is an academic advisory service that helps parents navigate the public school system of Montgomery County, Maryland. The organization works with parents of students with learning disabilities and mental health challenges to connect them to the services their children need to put them on the path to educational success. Founder Janet Lee works with parents to prepare them for Montgomery County Public Schools meetings and assists at these meetings to secure accommodations and, when necessary, appropriate school placements. SPEECH THERAPISTS DISTRICT SPEECH AND LANGUAGE THERAPY districtspeech.com 202-579-4448 1300 I St. N.W. #400E, Washington, D.C. 20005 District Speech offers support for many areas of speech difficulty including early intervention, transgender vocal training, stutter avoidance and reduction, orofacial myofunctional disorders, reading and learning impairments, and support for children with cleft lip & palate. CAPITOL KIDS SPEECH THERAPY capitolkidstherapy.com 202-544-5469 201 Massachusetts Ave. NE C-9, Washington, D.C. 200002 Capitol Kids Therapy offers comprehensive evaluations to assess speech and language 32  Washington FAMILY  OCTOBER 2022 strengths and weaknesses. Their treatment services include individual therapy sessions, co-treatment sessions, group sessions, feeding therapy, classroom observation, in-services as well as camp and summer groups. PHYSICAL THERAPISTS SENSATIONAL KIDS THERAPY sensationalkids-therapy.com 202-244-8089 2113, 4400 Jennifer St. NW #280, Washington, D.C. 20015 Sensational Kids Therapy is prepared to support a wide range of children with disabilities. They offer occupational therapy, individual physical therapy, a comprehensive evaluation and consultations. DINOSAUR PHYSICAL THERAPY dinopt.com 202-999-0908 5185 MacArthur Blvd. #220, Washington, D.C. 20016 Dinosaur physical therapy offers formal evaluations, informal assessments, individual treatment sessions, comprehensive home exercise programs and family training. They are prepared to address concerns about your child’s gross motor skills, developmental milestones, strength, balance, coordination, motor planning, gait pattern and endurance. TBI RESOURCES MEDSTAR NATIONAL REHABILITATION HOSPITAL medstarhealth.org 202-877-1000 102 Irving St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20010 As the region’s largest acute rehabilitation hospital, MedStar National Rehabilitation Hospital they are able to provide care for a variety of brain Injuries. Their brain injury rehabilitation program includes physical, occupational and speech therapy. Their team includes a neuropsychologist and a neuro optometrist. They also have opportunities for clinical trials. GEORGE WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL OUTPATIENT REHABILITATION CENTER gwhospital.com 202-715-5655 2131 K St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20037 The George Washington University Hospital Outpatient Rehab Center offers physical, occupational and speech therapies. Their recently-expanded facility has been upgraded with technology to support recovery from disabling injuries and illnesses, including brain injuries. BOOK MARKED Frights for Your Bookshelf 9 Halloween Tales for October BY ERIKA KERR AND JOANNA HARRIS, DC PUBLIC LIBRARY No matter what reading level you are, the library has a book to get you in the Halloween spirit. Check out our recommendations for some spooky, or not-so-spooky, reads. PICTURE BOOKS “Frankenstein Doesn’t Wear Earmuffs!” by John Loren On a stormy Halloween night, a young boy struggles to keep his costume scary while his parents keep him warm and dry. Perfect for family read-aloud, this hilarious and heartwarming book is a good reminder that bad weather can’t dampen Halloween spirit. “The Ghosts Went Floating” by Kim Norman A lightly spooky twist on a classic song, this book will have toddlers and preschoolers marching and singing along while building early math concepts. EARLY READERS “Chicken on a Broom” by Adam Lehrhaupt When a friend’s mask goes missing in the haunted barn just before the Halloween party, can Zoey the Chicken show her pals that there’s nothing to be afraid of? This book is perfect for younger kids who are starting to read on their own and might not be ready for scarier stories. “Battle of the Bad-Breath Bats” by David Bowles Three cousins accidentally step onto 13th Street, a mysterious other world filled with creepy beasts! Will they manage to get back home? Filled with fun art, progress markers and encouraging affirmations, books in this series are designed to smooth the transition to chapter books. MIDDLE GRADE “The Graveyard Book” by Neil Gaiman Left in a graveyard when he was a baby, Nobody “Bod” Owens is being raised by ghosts. Through a series of tales, we see Bod grow up and encounter spirits and supernatural beings, both fearful and friendly. But maybe none of these are as scary as his first day at school. Bod’s adventures cover a lot of supernatural territory and have as much charm as they do chills. “Jumbies” by Tracey Baptiste Corinne never believed stories about the “jumbies”, monsters that live in the woods. Then, one fateful Hallow’s Eve she runs into the woods and does not come back alone. A gripping tale based on Haitian folklore for an adventure-seeking reader who doesn’t mind a scare or two. YOUNG ADULT “White Smoke” by Tiffany D. Jackson Mari is set on forgetting her past when her family moves into an old house in a rundown town. Strange things begin happening around the house, but no one believes her because of her past mistakes and her neurodivergence. A thriller that combines classic haunted house elements with the equally chilling issues of gentrification and systemic racism. “Through the Woods” by Emily Carroll Two brothers go into the woods, but only one comes back. A girl moves in with her brother and his fiancé, but something isn’t quite right. Three sisters are visited by a man in a wide-brimmed hat. No one wields the power of suggestion quite like Emily Carroll, though there are several fantastically scary images in this graphic novel of short, creepy tales. “Hell Followed With Us” by Andrew Joseph White: Teenage trans boy Benji finds shelter from the apocalypse with the survivors from an LGBT Youth Center. Their leader Nick, who is autistic, knows the truth: Benji is an escapee of the cult that unleashed the bioweapon now devastating humanity; the bioweapon that’s mutating Benji from within. An escatalogical nightmare of a story, contrasted by the resiliency of queer youth. P WashingtonFAMILY.com  33 HEALTHY FAMILY Protect Your Skin During Pregancy Common prenatal skin conditions and how to treat them W BY HEATHER M. ROSS What kinds of skin conditions can occur with pregnancy? HYPERPIGMENTATION One of the most common changes that can occur during pregnancy is a change in the pigmentation of your skin, Goldberg says. Nearly all women experience some hyper- pigmentation during pregnancy, but this doesn’t always look the same. Melasma is a condition in which women see dark patches on the face, cheeks, fore- head or temples. It’s usually related to hormones and can be triggered by sunlight. For Melasma, Goldberg usually advises the use of hats and daily use of sunscreen. Linea nigra, also called the “pregnancy line,” is another form of hyperpigmentation—a dark vertical line over the lower abdomen, and it can fade completely after pregnancy. RASHES Saurabh Singh, who cares for patients in Rockville and Silver Spring at U.S. Derma- tology Partners, adds that among the most common pregnancy-related skin condi- tions he sees are PUPPP (pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy), pem- phigoid gestationis and different types of itching, including prurigo of pregnancy and 34  Washington FAMILY  OCTOBER 2022 cholestasis of pregnancy. Singh, co-founder of nation-wide online skincare service, Skintap, has been practicing medical, surgical and cosmetic dermatology for adult and pediatric patients in the D.C. metro area since 2011. PUPPP typically appears first on the abdo- men, sometimes involves the extremities and rarely involves the face, he says. PUPPP rashes can look and feel a lot like hives and there are some things doctors can do to provide relief, such as providing an oral anti- histamine or other medications. “I recommend fragrance-free products or moisturizers anytime moisture is needed, a lot of people are actually sensitive or allergic to fragrance. So that can make itching or dry skin or eczema even worse,” Goldberg says. Prurigo of pregnancy often looks like small pimples or acne. This rash typically shares a color palette with stretch marks. Some women report that the bumps feel itchy or uncomfortable, but the rash is typ- ically nothing to be too concerned over for mother or baby. A fairly common condition, it occurs in approximately 1 out of every 300 pregnan- cies, according to an article published in the American Family Physician, and it isn’t uncommon for it to last weeks—or even months—postpartum. Some people who have acne experience relief while pregnant, Goldberg says. Others develop acne, or their acne gets worse with the hormonal changes that come with preg- nancy. However, while there are many acne products that are safe to use during preg- nancy there are some that aren’t. “You should always check with your doc- tor [first] to ensure safety,” Goldberg says. “Delivery is often the treatment for most of the aforementioned conditions,” Singh says. STRETCH MARKS Another common change to the skin during pregnancy is the appearance of stretch marks. Stretch marks look like red, pink or purplish lines in areas that stretch. Accord- ing to Goldberg these are most common on the belly, thighs and breasts. Most of the time stretch marks fade after pregnancy but not always completely. BLUE PLANET STUDIO / GETTY IMAGES ith any pregnancy comes changes to a mother’s skin—a growing belly stretches the skin—but beyond that there are other skin changes brought about by hormones. “Because of (hormones), we see changes to our skin, hair and nails,” says Jamie Gold- berg, who has been a dermatologist for 10 years and is currently working with Kaiser Permanente in Halethorpe. Pregnancy-related skin conditions can occur at any stage in the pregnancy, though most are most intense during the third trimester. According to Goldberg, most of these changes are normal and many of them go away—or are significantly reduced after your pregnancy—but it’s helpful to know what they are and how to treat them. HEALTHY FAMILY “There are many creams marketed to reduce stretch marks but most studies don’t report significant changes,” Goldberg says. However, she notes that plain, fragrance-free moisturizer helps. When should you be concerned? There are some conditions that may warrant further supervision or evaluation by a der- matologist or your OB/GYN. “If you have a severe rash, see your doc- tor, particularly one where you have blisters or intractable itching. [Intractable] itching is itching that keeps you awake at night and doesn’t go away with the dry skincare meth- ods I mentioned,” Goldberg says. Of course, most expectant mothers’ num- ber one concern is for their baby, so if you are worried, seeing a doctor may help put your mind at ease. “The only two conditions (discussed here) that could harm the baby are cholestasis of pregnancy and pemphigoid gestationis,” Singh says. Cholestasis of pregnancy is a liver condition that can occur late in pregnancy, according Mayo Clinic, a nonprofit that serves patients worldwide and is based in Arizona, Florida and Minnesota. This condition causes intense itching but presents without a rash. The itching typi- cally occurs in the hands and feet but has been known to affect other parts of the body. Sometimes, due to the risk of complications with this condition doctors can recommend early delivery, according to the nonprofit. Complications can include preterm birth, lung problems in the infant, or even still- birth. There is no known way to prevent cholestasis of pregnancy, and doctors aren’t certain what causes it. Pemphigoid gestationis is not as common as cholestasis of pregnancy. Also known as herpes gestationis, it occurs in 1 out of every 50 thousand mid-to late-term pregnancies, according to the American Family Physi- cian. The American Osteopathic College of Dermatology (AOCD) notes that it usu- ally presents during the second trimester of pregnancy, but can occur at any time. Despite its name, PG is not related to the herpes virus. It is an autoimmune condition where the body attacks proteins found in the skin. PG presents as a red, itchy rash that forms plaques and papules around and sometimes including the belly button. Ini- tially, the lesions resemble hives but after a couple of weeks, blisters may form. PG typ- ically flares shortly after delivery and then resolves within three months, according to the AOCD. PG data does not suggest an increased risk of death for the baby, however AOCD notes the baby may be small for its gestational age. The More You Know It’s important to know the risks of any changes you notice during pregnancy, but remember that most changes are common, temporary and nothing to be embarrassed about. For more details on these and other dermatological conditions, talk to your doctor.  T TOGETHER IN GETTYSBURG! • ABA Therapy • Speech & Language Therapy • Occupational Therapy www.pediatrictherapystudio.com DestinationGettysburg.com 703-633-4808 WashingtonFAMILY.com  35 PARENT YOU SHOULD KNOW Megan Christie’s Journey in Alexandria with Neurofibromatosis BY GIANNA GRONOWSKI has to be one of the best parts. Watching them persevere through their challenges, develop their own interests and become more independent is all I can ask for! How has raising a child with NF affected your parenting choices? The hardest part about raising a child with NF is that we also have a child WITHOUT NF. Sometimes it’s almost easier to parent your medically involved child because their needs are so much more apparent, but what about the sibling? I find it hard, at times, to find those ways to make sure that he feels cared for, loved and attended to, when all he sees is how much time and attention his brother gets. hen Megan Christie found out her son Logan was diagnosed with Neurofibromatosis- Type 1 (NF- 1), a genetic disorder, she was fearful. A Speech-Language Pathologist (SLP) in Fairfax County, she was no stranger to neurological disorders, but seeing tumors grow on her then- 2-year-old was scary. Ten years later, Christie is now an advocate for NF as the NOVA/DC representative for the Volunteer Leadership Council at the Children’s Tumor Foundation, an organization that provides education, advocacy, research and patient/family support for NF. She now resides in Culpeper, Va. with her husband Ryan and her children Parker (13) and Logan (12) and works as an SLP at Culpeper Health and Rehabilitation, specializing in adults with acquired cognitive, communication and swallowing deficits. How do you balance (your career/job) and family life, and what makes it easier? When Logan entered school, we knew he would need IEP support and I was able to draw on my special education background to help guide the conversation and advocate for his needs. (Then), having extra doctor’s appointments and weekly chemotherapy, it was clear that flexibility was the only way to survive. I had to have open communication with my employers 36  Washington FAMILY  OCTOBER 2022 STAY OFF OF GOOGLE! Don’t get me wrong, the internet can be a fantastic resource if used correctly. It’s actually the way we discovered Logan’s diagnosis before the doctors did. That said, it’s easy to get caught up in the “worst case scenarios” and most extreme cases I don’t know what Logan’s NF will look like 5 years from now, 10 years from now, but google doesn’t know either. All I know is what he needs now, and that’s all I have to focus on. What do you hope your child and adjust my work expectations. None of this (ren) learn from your career? would have been possible without my husband I hope my children can see that care and helping to carry the parenting load. compassion can make a difference. The boys have been able to visit me at work with our puppy (hopeful future therapy dog) and see What do you love about first-hand the joy that they can bring to people parenting? My kids always joke that the only reason we in very painful, scary or sad situations. I hope had kids is so that they could do all the chores! that this will help them develop their sense of In reality, I always knew I wanted to have kids, compassion for others and to remember that but couldn’t tell you why. Seeing our children even a small act of kindness can go a long way grow- physically, mentally, (emotionally), to change someone’s day. PROVIDED PHOTO W What’s the best piece of advice you’ve received? PARENT YOU SHOULD KNOW Family Favorites: Favorite Family Meal Burgers and fries. Everyone knows I love the extra crispy fries, so everyone passes their crispiest fries to me and in turn I share my pickles with them. Favorite Way to Recharge We love to play board games and watch movies. There is also always a jigsaw puzzle on the table. Favorite Family Vacation We love any time that we can be with family, whether that’s visiting family in New Jersey or heading to the beach in North Carolina. As long as we are with our families, it doesn’t matter where we are. Favorite Place to Visit in Alexandria Our favorite place/event is the annual Scottish Walk parade in Old Town. Bagpipes, Kilts, Dogs and even Santa. Something for everyone! Favorite Disability Advocacy Org. We support the Children’s Tumor Foundation by fundraising and spreading awareness. It’s because of the research and advocacy of CTF that we are seeing better treatment options for Neurofibromatosis. Parenting isn’t easy, but there are strategies that can help. Parenting HelpLine: 800.243.7337 familytreemd.org/flip WashingtonFAMILY.com  37 MY TURN 5 Ways to Help a Friend Who Parents a Child with Special Needs BY JACQUELINE RENFROW Jacqueline Renfrow is a freelance jour- nalist of more than 20 years. She is a frequent contributor to Washington FAM- ILY, MetroKids and other publications in the national-capital area. When she's not writing, editing or raising three kids, she is pursuing a master's certificate at Johns Hopkins School of Education to bring awareness in the education system for neu- rodiverse learners. 38  Washington FAMILY  OCTOBER 2022 ignoring the other two. It will ease my stress and that of my neurotypical children if you take them out for some much-needed fun. 2 Leave your advice at the door. Yes, we believe in discipline (lucky you if it works). Yes, he has a bedtime (it changes based on his medications). Yes, we have tried reward charts, incentives and bribes. Go ahead and assume we’ve tried it all and know we are working with licensed professionals—doctors, psychiatrists, occu- pational therapists and tutors. 3 Invite me out as a friend. Navigating school, home life and appointments feels like full-time work. Going out for cof- fee or a walk, or anything that involves two friends hanging out, is an exciting pros- pect and anything but the norm. Let us be human beings, adults with dreams and a sense of humor, for a few hours. 4 We don’t want more attention. Every- where we go, we draw attention, whether from a child meltdown or a frus- trated parent’s outburst. We don’t want you to offer help or to look at us with sympa- thetic eyes. We are handling it and knowing others are in the audience only makes the situation harder. Leave us alone to deal with the situation as we see fit. 5 Don’t lower your expectations. Yes, at some point we’ve had to adjust our expectations to meet the realities of our child with special needs. However, we still want our son, and those around him, to reach for greatness. Friends and grandpar- ents should continue to support the child’s Take my other children, please. You interests and hobbies. And please, only know that my special needs child takes offer valid praise that he has earned: Like up a good portion of my day, leaving me less a child, he has strengths and weaknesses. time to attend to his siblings. This leaves Don’t treat him as special. Treat him as his me with extreme mom guilt for seemingly unique self. T 1 PROVIDED PHOTO P arents of young kids are perpetually drained—that goes without saying. But if you’ve never parented a child with special needs, you don’t understand the mental and physical exhaustion that these individuals face. I had no knowledge of this divide either until I had a special needs child of my own. Now I’ve learned not to judge a screaming child in the supermarket or one who bites another in the preschool class. And I don’t think twice about a parent who gives a child a tablet at the dinner table or at 9 p.m. when mom or dad needs some peace. What do I want parents of neurotypical children to know? When you tell me you are tired because your son didn’t sleep well last night, I hold back from reminding you that my child has been sleeping next to me since he was 18 months old and could climb out of his crib. When you complain about driving your daughter to soccer practice twice a week, I think of how many hours and how much money I’ve wasted trying to get my son to try a new sport, only to have him quit after one practice. When you say you were embar- rassed when your child didn’t say thank you at the end of a playdate, I want to hide in shame remembering the meltdown that my son had at your home. I get it. We all need to vent about parent- ing sometimes. And you are well-meaning in assuming that my parenting struggles are similar to your own. But instead of try- ing to connect with me, try one of these five actions that we, parents of children with special needs, want more. Your best friend is waiting... Montgomery County Humane Society is a private, non-profit, no-kill cat and dog rescue that does not receive any operational funding from the government or from national humane societies. It relies on the support of the community to keep its doors open. Cats and dogs available for adoption today. Come meet your new best friend. ® 601 S. Stonestreet Ave. Rockville, MD 20850 240-252-2555 mchumane.org OCTOBER 15, 2022 WASHINGTON DC WALK National Mall act.autismspeaks.org/dcwalk Join a community of friendship and support and help people with autism reach their full potential.