toward whatever it is they are scared of so that they can learn for
themselves: ‘I am strong enough to handle this.’”
Bettencourt wants parents to remember that kids aren’t getting
anxious on purpose or to ruin things. “We really want to avoid
shaming them for feeling upset or getting angry with them for feeling
upset or being like, ‘Don’t worry about it.’ All of these reactions
According to Bettencourt, one of the best ways parents can help kids only make the child feel badly about themselves, and they probably
overcome fears is by calmly validating their feelings and correcting discourage the child from talking with or sharing with their parent
misinformation. “A lot of times kids are scared because they have what they are worried about.”
really built up the thing in their mind,” she says.

Kennedy-Moore adds that parents should talk to their kids about
how they are in charge of their children’s safety and would not put
them in a dangerous situation.

Parents can help build excitement around Halloween by planning
When a child has anxiety over Halloween, parents may act nonthreatening ways to celebrate. Patel suggests normalizing the
unknowingly to intensify the fear. For example, trying to protect Halloween experience by reading themed books (see ideas on the
the child from everything related to the holiday. “Sometimes next page), carving silly jack-o’-lanterns and decorating your home
avoiding something you fear will only strengthen or emphasize
Trick-or-treating is still encouraged, but parents may want
that fear,” says Dr. Ami Patel, pediatrician at MedStar Georgetown to make adjustments, such as going out in daylight. Let the child
University Hospital in Washington, D.C. “While I don’t think practice wearing their costume around the house all month, and
children should be pushed into something overwhelming, it’s if their costume comes with a mask, make sure their vision is not
ideal to prepare them and have them participate in some way limited. Inviting a friend to come along is a good way to focus on the
throughout the month and holiday.” Many fall-related activities, fun aspects of trick-or-treating, and if your child sees someone in a
such as farm visits to pick pumpkins and explore corn mazes, scary costume, be empathetic while also pointing out details such
have Halloween themes.

as their wig or makeup as a way to humanize the costumed person.

On the other hand, some parents can be overly dismissive of a
Ultimately, parents need to remember that every child is unique.

child’s fear, mocking them or deliberately scaring them. “That is “Comparisons are not helpful: ‘Well, your cousin likes this.’ OK,
not kind, and it is not helpful,” Kennedy-Moore says. “When we good for the cousin,” Kennedy-Moore says. “We deal with the kid in
are talking about building up their tolerance, we are not talking front of us, and if this particular child at this particular moment is
about surprising them with the worst possible thing. It is baby steps scared, then we gently help them move forward from that.” n
put on a Halloween mask and snap a picture while
wearing it, then practice putting the mask on and
taking it off to get used to the concept.

Keep calm and communicate
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