PARENT YOU SHOULD KNOW
Chris and Holly Santillo
BY GIANNA GRONOWSKI
Chris is an alumnus of Harvey Mudd College
and Georgetown University, receiving a
bachelor’s degree in computer science and a
master’s degree in business administration.

Holly received her degree in anthropology
from Williamette University. The parent duo
maintain strong backgrounds in martial arts
and run Potomac Kempo in Arlington, where
they teach skills such as “breathing through
breathless times.” Together, they embody the
phrase “a healthy mind in a healthy body.”
The Santillos believe broadening chil-
dren’s worldviews and supporting an open
mind lead to resilient adults. At home
in Virginia with friends and family, they
love to spend time in Old Towne, where
their roots are. Their family can now be
found traversing the globe and living out a
nomadic lifestyle, from the vast dune sea
of Mongolia’s Gobi Desert, to the snowy
landscape aboard the Trans-Siberian
Railway. The family’s newfound favorite
activity is hiking, citing it as an escape from all
other distractions.

You believe in “a healthy mind in
a healthy body.” How does this
influence your parenting?
As parents, we all spend a lot of energy mak-
ing sure our children learn what they need
to learn—and rightly so. But nurturing a
healthy mind isn’t that simple. Our physical
state has a tremendous effect on our mental,
as well as emotional, states. So, as we work
34 Washington FAMILY NOVEMBER 2022
to raise children who are mentally and emo-
tionally happy, healthy and resilient, we will
only succeed if we make sure that they are
also physically happy, healthy and resilient.

How do the principles of martial
arts translate to parenting?
The martial arts—when properly taught—
are a methodology for life. How to positively
interact with others, how to overcome chal-
lenges, when to yield, and when to stand
firm... thus it shouldn’t surprise us that par-
allel principles will come to light in life, as
well as parenting. We personally can’t begin
to count how many times we have used
martial arts training as a metaphor to illus-
trate and clarify challenging concepts or
situations that confront our family.

Did the ideas of opening minds and
broadening horizons to develop
strong, resilient adults lead you to
travel with your boys?
Absolutely. We traveled full-time with our
children for almost three years. We were on a
PHOTO PROVIDED
Not your average authors, Chris and Holly Santillo
have embarked on an adventure with their three sons
around the globe that embodies the message in their
book, “Resilience Parenting: Raising Resilient Children
in an Era of Detachment and Dependence.”



quest to explore the world inside and outside
of ourselves to learn to live more thought-
fully. Horizons definitely broadened, and
resilience definitely developed in ourselves
as well as our children! But, we think it is fair
to say that practicing the martial arts helped
get us started—it took a certain amount of
breadth and resilience just to walk out the
door. But as we traveled, we all gained access
to more of what the world has to offer us.

Resilience is like a muscle. Use it, and it will
grow. Ignore it, and it will atrophy.

It can be difficult to balance
work with family life. Does
having your children with you
on the road make it easier?
Yes and no. While traveling, we spent an inor-
dinate amount of time together—sometimes
in a cramped bus, or five of us sharing a hotel
room meant for four, or… you get the idea. We
also ate every meal together and held hands
to speak our family credo, which recalls grati-
tude and joy. If anything, the experience really
brought into focus something all of us know:
relationships are not built out of the hours we
spend together but by the quality of the expe-
rience. Time spent in the same room staring
at screens is not the same as time spent
walking and talking. T
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FAMILY FAVORITES
Favorite destination throughout your
travels We’ve been to thirty-two countries in the last
couple of years, and every one has been amazing
in its own way. What really matters is the
experience that you have, and far more important
than political boundaries are connecting with the
people within them.

Favorite martial arts skill
Breathing through breathless times.

Favorite way to spend the weekend together
Definitely hiking. For our family, there is no better way for us to escape all of the other
distractions of life and just be present with each other, ourselves, and the beautiful
world around us.

Favorite international meal
Mongolian Khorkhog, a dish of goat, potatoes, onions, and carrots cooked with stones in a
pot buried in the ground.

Favorite local spot in Alexandria
We’ve always liked Old Towne, having lived there before the kids were born, but since we
aren’t back in the area much anymore, all of our focus is on spending time with the people
that make Alexandria great.

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