WF
MY TURN
AVOID MOM BURNOUT
hen I was growing up, two things
would always happen in my
home on Christmas Eve. We
would all get new pajamas, and my mom would
always argue with us about some small and
inconsequential—at least to the rest of us—
part of Christmas planning. My siblings and I
could never understand why she would choose
Christmas Eve to be so particular and nag us
about the littlest things. It just made no sense.

As an adult (and mom), I now realize that
my mom’s fussing was about so much more
than us cleaning our rooms or liking our new
pajamas. At a time when we were out of school
and excited about new presents and special
treats, my mom was always overwhelmed
and burned out. She spent so much time and
energy making the holidays special for us
that she wasn’t able to enjoy them herself.

When we were having Christmas movie night,
eating treats and sleeping, mom was cooking,
cleaning up after us and up all night preparing
for the next day. After all that, of course, she
flipped her lid when we didn’t want to wear
our matching pajamas!
I’m sure most moms can relate. Although the
holidays are absolutely beautiful, for a mom,
they also come with increased levels of stress,
anxiety and burnout. Here are my biggest tips
for moms—and what I’ll be doing—to prevent
burnout this holiday season.

Ask for help
As moms, we think it’s all on us. Whether we
don’t want to bother our partner or want to
preserve the magic of the holidays for our
children, we often take on more than we
can handle.

This year, when you’re making your
to-do lists, think about which things can
be outsourced to a local bakery, decorating
expert, catering service or your partner and
kids. Having help or tasks completed by
someone outside of your family won’t take
away the magic of the holidays. It frees up
time and mental space for you to enjoy your
family and allow them to enjoy you. Seriously,
BY ORLESA POOLE
Orlesa Poole and her son Corey
does your family want everything baked from
scratch or a mom who isn’t stressed out and
has time to spend with them?
Adjust your expectations—
and drop some balls
When you’re deciding what needs to be done
to make the holidays a success, ask yourself
why something needs to be done. Is it because
that’s what you were taught “should” happen
during the holidays, or is it because the activity
is something of importance to you that brings
joy to your family? If it’s not something that’s
absolutely necessary—I’m looking at you
holiday cards—drop it! The priority here is
making the holidays special for everyone, not
doing every single thing.

34 Washington FAMILY NOVEMBER 2021
Participate in the fun
The holidays are meant to be enjoyable for you
also. Take some time away from tasks to be
present with your family. If you simply don’t
have the time because there is too much to do,
go back to the first two suggestions. A pared-
down holiday with a happy mom is always
better than extravagance and stress. n
Orlesa Poole is the founder of Managing
Motherhood Psychotherapy in Washington,
D.C. and Bowie, Maryland. She specializes in
helping emotionally overwhelmed moms find the
calm and confidence they need to actually enjoy
parenting. To learn more about her services, visit
psychotherapyformoms.com. SHALA GRAHAM PHOTOGRAPHY
W This Holiday Season