‘thank
you’ Every Thanksgiving, before my
family gorges on turkey with gravy and
marshmallow-topped sweet potatoes, we
go around the table and share something
we’re thankful for. I would bet you have
a similar family tradition. But are your
responses as broad and generic as ours?
Most of us say that we’re grateful for our
health or the opportunity to celebrate the
holiday together. It’s like we don’t know
how to answer such a big question —
“What are you grateful for?” — when it’s
asked just once a year.

So why do we only count our blessings
at the dinner table on the fourth Thursday
of every November? After all, positive
things happen to each of us every day. They
might not be as monumental as receiv-
ing a clean bill of health or a long-awaited
promotion, but they’re worthwhile none-
theless: a stranger letting you cut ahead
in line when you’re obviously in a rush;
helpful advice from a friend; a compli-
ment from a teacher or boss. What would
happen if people started practicing grati-
tude on a daily basis rather than just on
Thanksgiving? Some local experts shared
their thoughts.

The Benefits of Gratitude
In a nutshell, cultivating an attitude
of gratitude might make families hap-
pier, healthier and more engaged with
one another. “There is a growing body of
gratitude research that suggests people
MAKING GRATITUDE
A DAILY
FAMILY PRACTICE
BY PJ FEINSTEIN
who engage in gratitude practices expe-
rience psychological, physical, and social
benefits,” says Joy Kolb, a licensed psy-
chologist and licensed behavior analyst
at Alliance Pediatrics in Gaithersburg.

Experiencing gratitude, she explains,
helps young children have a better under-
standing of emotions, teens feel less
envious and less depressed, and adoles-
cents report more self-discipline.

However, the study of gratitude is
relatively new — only about 20 years,
according to Anthony Ahrens, a professor
of psychology at American University who
focuses on gratitude, mindfulness and
fear of emotion. Psychologists are “still
early in trying to understand it,” he says,
but one benefit may be that gratitude can
help us figure out who we can really trust.

“It’s hard to go through life on our own.

We need to know which people we can
trust, and experiencing and expressing
gratitude can help us to realize the peo-
ple who we can really count on — and also
start to bind us more closely to them,”
Ahrens says, referring to a theory of
gratitude called “find, bind, remind.”
Then there’s the idea that gratitude “can
help us to understand that our lives are
abundant rather than deprived,” he adds.

It’s easy to focus on the things we lack, and
sometimes that’s important, he says, if it
motivates us to go out and get them. But
focusing on what we have creates a sense of
abundance, and research even suggests that
feeling grateful makes us more likely to be
16 Washington FAMILY NOVEMBER 2019