The Science
of Giving
and How It Can Help Your Kids
By Sandi Schwartz
CHILDREN WERE BORN TO GIVE
Believe it or not, children enter this
world with a natural instinct to be
compassionate to others. Scientists at
the Max Planck Institute discovered that
infants help others even though they
are too young to have learned about
being kind and polite. The children take
action because of their own motivation,
and not because they expect a reward.

Actually, humans have evolved over
time to be compassionate, and our
brains are now wired to respond to
those who are suffering. Kindness
has become a “survival of the fittest”
trait, as Charles Darwin even advised
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that “communities which included
the greatest number of the most
sympathetic members would flourish
best, and rear the greatest number of
offspring.” In other words, the better
we get along and help each other out,
the more successful our society will be.

Do children continue to show
compassion as they grow? A
breakthrough study by psychologists,
posted online by the National Institutes
of Health (NIH), determined that young
children are happier to give than to
receive. Toddlers who were asked to
give away their own treats expressed
greater happiness when they shared
with others. The researchers interpreted
the results of this study to mean that
anytime people participate in pro-
social behavior, such as volunteering
and giving charitable donations, we
experience an increase in happiness.

Children have the foundation to
be kind, but it’s our job as parents
to continue to nurture this part of
them as they grow. If we neglect to
do so, negative life experiences can
unfortunately tear down this beautiful
instinct. 5 WAYS GIVING TRANSFORMS
OUR KIDS
1. BOOSTS HAPPINESS
When we make others happy by giving
a gift or our support, we experience a
physiological change called a helper’s
high. It is a euphoric physical sensation
resulting from our brain releasing
chemicals called endorphins. According
to Psychology Today, the helper’s
high is a literal “high,” similar to a
drug-induced sensation. It makes us
feel good naturally, giving us a rush
that leaves us elated and excited. This
positive energy is similar to how we
feel after exercising.

2. IMPROVES HEALTH
In his book, “Why Good Things
Happen to Good People,” Stephen Post,
a professor of preventative medicine
explains that giving to others has been
ISTOCK / GETTY IMAGES PLUS/MYKOLA SOSIUKIN
W ant to really make your
kids happy? Teach them the
importance of giving to others.

Contrary to common belief that kids
need and want more “stuff” to be
happy, science tells us that it is the act
of giving to others that actually boosts
happiness and can even improve health
and other areas of their lives.




HOW TO TEACH CHILDREN ABOUT GIVING
Teaching our children how to
pay it forward is easier than you
may think. There are endless
opportunities to volunteer as a
family and to give our children
meaningful experiences that will
enhance both their lives and the
individuals they help. Here are
some tips on how to incorporate
giving into your children’s lives.

shown to increase health benefits
in people with chronic illness. In
addition, a 2006 joint study by
Johns Hopkins University and the
University of Tennessee indicated
that people who helped others
had lower blood pressure and less
feelings of stress than participants
who did not.

Discuss how they can help. Find a
few minutes during your day to ask
your children who they would like
to help. Provide some options like
babies, animals, people without
homes, children who do not
have families, students who need
books or the elderly. Talk about
the different types of projects
you can do to help those in need.

For some inspiration, read books
about giving and kindness to your
children. 3. PROMOTES SOCIAL
CONNECTION When we give, our generosity is
ultimately rewarded by others.

These positive actions promote
a sense of trust and cooperation
that strengthens our relationships.

Moreover, we feel a bond towards
those who we help. All of this is
important because having positive
social interactions is central to good
mental and physical health.

4. ENCOURAGES AN ATTITUDE
OF GRATITUDE
When we give to those in need, we
feel a sense of gratitude because it
puts things in perspective. Volunteer
work is a great opportunity for our
children to appreciate what they
have and gives them a glimpse of the
broader world. Meanwhile, gratitude
is another very important ingredient
for happiness and good health.

5. GIVES CHILDREN THE
OPPORTUNITY TO INSPIRE
OTHERS Those who are on the receiving end
of a good deed typically want to pass
along that positive feeling and help
others. Researcher James Fowler
found that just one act of kindness
can inspire several more acts of
kindness by others. In this case,
children have the opportunity to be a
mentor to others, inspiring a chain of
kindness and compassion.

Talk about the importance of
charitable giving. If you choose
to start a monetary collection for
charity, consider creating or buying
giving boxes for each child. Ask
them to set goals about how much
they would like to give throughout
the year and which organizations
they would like to donate to. Check
in weekly or monthly throughout
the year to see how close they are
to reaching their goal.

Help your children discover their
passion. Our passion should drive
how we give because when we
are excited about a project, we can
put all of our heart and soul into it.

Also, when we care about what we
are working on, we will get more
out of it and feel happier. Help your
children identify their talents, skills
and interests that they can put to
good use.

Give as a group. Volunteering
during a community service
event with others accentuates the
happiness boost because you are
also building social connections.

Choose projects close to home.

Giving to a place locally where you
can actually see and experience
the results is most effective.

Studies have also found that we are
happiest when we give to a charity
through a friend, relative or social
connection rather than simply
making an anonymous donation to
a cause halfway around the world.

Find ways to volunteer as a family.

By volunteering as a family, you
make giving a priority and build it
into your children’s daily routine.

There are so many ways that you
can give together, and if you don’t
find something out there that
you love, create it yourself. Here
are some wonderful resources to
identify family-friendly volunteer
opportunities. • Doing Good Together’s Start Your
Kindness Practice Worksheets
(doinggoodtogether.org): They
offer printable worksheets to guide
your family in identifying your
interests, priorities and talents so
you can choose the best volunteer
projects. • PBSkids.org’s Family Guide to
Volunteering: Check out their
comprehensive printable booklet
online that explains how to choose
a project, provides important
reminders while on-site at a
project, and offers ways to reflect
and share your experience.

• Idealist (idealist.org): This is one
of the best sites for searching
volunteer opportunities all over the
world. The best part is they have
an option to locate projects that
are appropriate for families to do
together. There is certainly no shortage of
ways to help others. The next time
you feel like your child’s playroom
or bedroom closet is going to
explode, ask them to fill a bag with
items to give to kids who could
really use them. By providing our
children with opportunities to give,
they will be happier and healthier
and have the power to pass along
that goodness to so many people.

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