How to Oversee
Your Child’s Studies
Without Going Too Far
TEXT: Ann Dolin
O ne of the toughest parts about seeing your kids
through school is deciding to “let go.” To let
them take responsibility, make mistakes and
“learn how to learn” under their own control.

All this means in practice is
that when you know there’s an
assignment coming up, sit down
with them and ask, “What are the
steps you’re going to need to do to
complete this?”
But what happens when they get
But in an attempt to “help”
stuck, and aren’t able (or willing)
we often go too far. We end
to figure it out on their own?
up enabling our children by
constantly checking to see what
Whether that’s on their first
algebra assignment, or a lingering
book report where the due date
has come and gone, sometimes it’s
really hard to know when to step
in and how to direct them without
homework is due, and helping
them get it done on time, even
though this task should be their
job. So, what should parents do?
Here are six recommendations:
helping too much.

Instead of fully leaving it to them
to work it out, open up a dialogue
and try to let them come up with
the steps. Then, when they get
stuck, assist along the way. As
they get the hang of it, you can
help less and less over time. But
don’t be afraid to help the process
along when they’re young. The
question shouldn’t be, “Should
parents help with homework?”
When it comes down to it, our
incredibly tempting to check
1. A certain amount of involvement
is appropriate for elementary-
school students
online or in your kid’s backpack to
Kids who are elementary school
see what’s due. Or it’s natural to
age haven’t fully developed their
jump in to help with homework at
executive functioning skills, and so
the first sign of struggle, especially
aren’t quite ready to go at it alone
if our children aren’t forthcoming
when it comes to planning and
about their workload or issues
working through long assignments
they’re having in class.

independently. problem as parents is this: It’s
but rather, “How much should we
help?” at this stage.

2. If your kids are in middle or high
school, resist the impulse to help
I recently spoke to one Fairfax, VA
mom who was looking for a tutor.

studies | Page 24
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