YAMOAH-MANUH: PROVIDED; DAISY: NADYA SO; CHRYSANTHEMUMS: IRINA KARNISHEVA/ISTOCK;
LANDSCAPE: DIANE555/DIGITALVISION VECTORS/GETTY IMAGES PLUS
that I could really trust with my daughter.”
Over a decade later, Bailey, 45 and living
in Upper Marlboro, Maryland, and Yamoah-
Manuh are still friends and see each other
about once a month. Though their journeys
have taken them in different directions,
their similarities in motherhood have kept
them intertwined. Both women have been
single mothers twice, with two sets of kids
about a decade apart: Bailey has a 5-year-
old son, Lee, and Yamoah-Manuh a set of
6-year-old twins, Laila and Lila.

As Mother’s Day approaches, these two
parents are reflecting on their paths as
single mothers.

What has been the importance of
finding support in community as
a single mother?
Yamoah-Manuh: It’s just playing that role
of auntie, just being able to have someone
to talk to or just for babysitting reasons,
or just to be able to have playdates and
have your kids be around other kids in
other environments that you trust because
there’s so much going on in the world
now….You have to be aware of what type
of people [are] around the kids—whether
they’re smoking, drinking, how they’re
dressing [and], of course, child predators.

There’s just so much in the world that
being a single parent, you have to be ultra-
aware of what’s going on in wherever your
kids are going to be.

16 Washington FAMILY MAY 2023
Lonyetta Yamoah-Manuh
with her
daughters, Laila and Lila.

Bailey: It’s also cost-saving; you know
where your children are; you are famil-
iar with the family, the mom; and it also
feels good to help others who are in an
alike situation.

What has been a difference
between being a single mother for
the first versus second time?
Yamoah-Manuh: With the twins, I already
know the importance of having those
friend groups and making sure that, even
if you don’t have the family support, that it
is important to have those friends that you
can depend on and that you could talk to,
even if they can’t be your weekender, your
weekend mom. You can still talk to them
and vent, and get things off your chest, and
bounce ideas off and just be an adult with
[them] — because we’re around our kids so
much that we don’t get that outlet.




Bailey: The biggest lesson is taking care of
yourself and having the emotional stability
and wherewithal to be present as a parent,
which, I think it takes some maturity, and
it can take even going to counseling just to
make sure that you are able to be a present
parent. Because you only get one chance to
parent, and it goes by very, very fast. I’m
more fi nancially stable now, which also is
a big part of it. And possibly because I’m
more fi nancially stable, I’m able to be more
present because I’m not in that fi guring-
out stage.

Bailey: It would be from my aunt, who I
look up to, and she’s a divorcee (and she
raised two kids on her own after getting a
divorce), and [it] is: Don’t stop your life. If
you have passions, if you have goals, don’t
stop your life. You have to fi gure out how
to still do what you want to do in your
life.…You have to fi gure out how to be a
parent and be yourself.

What’s a piece of advice you’ve
gott en from anoth er single
moth er?
Yamoah-Manuh: Take time for your-
self. Although you’re a mom, and a single
mom, you do have to take time for yourself
because if you’re not good, then the kids
can’t be good.

Yamoah-Manuh: Just the juggle of life-
work balance. I talked to Yana all the time,
and she’s like, ‘We have to, of course, make
money for the kids. We have to be able to
take care of them. We have to provide, but
we also have to make time to be fun and to
make time for the kids where they’re actu-
ally allowed to be kids. We can’t always be
in parent mode.’
What advice would you give a
single moth er?
Bailey: You have to practice self-
care, like, what can you do to
get your mind off of today’s
stresses? Or what’s going to
help you get up in the morning
to get them ready, to get through
school on time? 2
“ You have to practice self-care,
like, what can you do to get your mind
off of today’s stress es? ”
— Yana Bailey
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