HEALTHY FAMILY
abroad program in Dublin, Ireland, when the
coronavirus started making its way toward
Europe, and here she is now chewing and
slurping while I am trying to edit. And she will
be here all summer, too, taking online classes
and continuing to eat very near me.

She likes to have deep conversations at
10:30 p.m. I do not.

I’ll admit it: This is the kind of day-to-
day crap that could sink us. Don’t let it.

Get a schedule, but not one of those Pin-
terest-worthy, color-coded numbers that
were all the rage in Week 1. Establish a
few key times for things throughout the
day and then stick to them. Kids need rou-
tines, they need to know what to expect.

If you are not a teacher, don’t attempt a
middle school A-B module. Even if you are,
I would say don’t do it. Pick a few things
that need to happen every day and make
sure they do them.

For me, it means allowing my super creative,
extroverted oldest child to have time to vent,
but also to make sure she has projects to
challenge her during this time.

Connecting with other adults is
important When my kids were small, I hated all the
“Brush your teeth” and “Do your homework”
things I had to say all the time because I was
the only adult there to say them. It was so
great when teachers or their doctors gave
them marching orders. My heroes!
Which brings me to this: You and your chil-
dren are devoid of other adults right now, and
you both need to find them. Call grandparents
every day. Write to your neighbors and leave
notes in their mailboxes. Send your veterinar-
ian a photo of your dog. Email your pediatri-
cian and ask how he or she is doing. All those
Facebook Live experiences with children’s
authors? Have your kids watch one.

Our day-to-day worlds are full of adults,
and your kids should reconnect with some of
them. It will bring back some of the normal,
and it will help you feel less alone.

It’s OK to be emotional
My ex-husband and I lost friends on 9/11, and
I spent the first part of my pregnancy with
our son crying. I remember telling my doctor
that it was crazy to bring a child into this sad
world. Surely this was destined to make him
a sad and angry kid.

Flash forward: My son is the most laid-
back member of our family—and also the
tallest, by far, which has earned him the
nickname “Gentle Giant.” He is introverted
and compassionate, and his EQ is high. For
all the sadness of during my pregnancy, he
has turned out fine.

So, go ahead and cry if you need to. Feel
in control one day and out of sorts the next.

Ride the ride. We’re are all going to be sad
and mad and all the things. It doesn’t do any
good to pretend to our children that we are
not human, and there is no need to worry
because you are.

And it will get better. Like all stages of
parenting, this will not last. In that way, we
may have a greater understanding of this
moment than folks without kids right now:
We absolutely know how fleeting time is.

You are not alone. You will get through this.

And the kids will be all right. I promise. n
Parenting isn’t easy, but there
are strategies that can help.

Find support and resources
at familytreemd.org/flip
or our 24-hour Parenting
HelpLine at 800-243-7337.

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