allowed, period,” she says. However, she
notes that while she hopes her children wait
until they’re 21, she’s also “not naïve to think
they won’t start early.”
While these parents were eager to talk
about this topic, they also recognized the
sensitivity of the issue. And they were con-
cerned about how they might be judged for
what they have to say.

“I never said to my kids, ‘Hey, how about
you throw a party?’” says A. But she did come
home to at least a “handful of parties,” which
she or another adult in the household then
monitored for safety. “I just got looser by
their senior year because by that point, you
pretty much know they’re already drinking.”
Many of these parents were also less wor-
ried about the laws and more about the social
and health effects of underage drinking.

“Teenagers are not ready for the respon-
sibility that comes with drinking,” says Gigi.

“They may not have the self-control to avoid
addiction, and underage drinking is not safe.”
S. agrees with this concern. “Alcohol
really worries me because it lowers inhibi-
tions so much. People get sick, they aspirate
on their own vomit and die, or they go get
in a car,” she says. She even adds that if she
ever had to choose between her child drink-
ing or vaping, she’d choose vaping — the
“lesser of two evils.”
“Teenagers are going to try stuff. So
is it less dangerous to vape than drink? I
don’t know,” she says. “But it’s definitely
something I’ve thought about.”
The parents we talked to also knew of
instances where other parents had been
penalized for underage drinking in their
homes and other related problems with
parties. A. recalls once dropping her son off
at house party and then soon after getting
a call from him to come back and pick him
up. “He told me that someone had invaded
the parents’ liquor cabinet and some girl
had passed out, so the police were on their
way,” she says. “I was really proud that he
called me.”
While parents said they want to be clear
with their kids, many were unclear on the
laws around underage drinking. In fact, 22
percent said they were unaware of their
state’s laws on providing alcohol to minors
in their home — and perhaps for good rea-
son as the laws vary from state to state in
our region.

Paul D’Amore, an Annapolis-based per-
sonal injury lawyer says that in Maryland,
there are two laws on this subject, one
that addresses alcohol possession by a
minor, and one that addresses providing
alcohol to a minor. “The former makes it
a crime for a minor to possess alcohol; the
latter makes it a crime for an adult to pro-
vide alcohol to a minor. Both of these laws
make exceptions for instances where the
alcohol has been provided to the minors
by a member of their immediate family for
consumption in a private home or during a
religious ceremony,” he says. “So, you can
give alcohol to your own children but not
someone else’s child.”
Yet, that is just the criminal side of the
issue, D’Amore cautions. “Two recent Mary-
land Appeals Court decisions have made it
clear that providing alcohol to minors cre-
ates civil liability for the adult if the minor is
harmed or harms a third party. So, if parents
serve alcohol to minors at a house party, or
turn a ‘blind eye’ to obvious alcohol con-
sumption, they risk financial responsibility
for any harm caused to the children or that
the children cause others, say by injuring
someone on their way home.”
For those in Virginia, the laws are pretty
similar, with the added exception that they
also allow those under 21 to drink as a guest
in the house if their parent, guardian or
spouse who is age 21 or older is present. But
for the District? The laws are tight. There
are no family or location exceptions for
underage drinking.

In the end, when it comes to teenage
drinking, the general consensus among
parents is that talking to your kids is key.

“We started talking about alcohol and
drugs at age 10,” says Gigi. “We talked about
the lasting effects of drug and alcohol use.

We talked about actions and consequences,
and how drugs and alcohol impact individ-
uals, families and futures. We had an open
and honest conversation, an ongoing con-
versation to ensure our teens know where
we stand and our expectations.”
Beth agrees. “Our kids are being exposed
to a lot of stuff that maybe we weren’t.

Whether you can identify if your kids are
drinking or using drugs or not is less the
point than if your kid feels like you’re going
to be there if they have an issue and they
need to talk to you.” ■
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Our rule in our house for
any alcohol consumption
is 18 and up. If you can
fight for our country at 18,
then you should be able
to drink a beer.

­— BETH
Teenagers are not ready
for the responsibility that
comes with drinking.

They may not have the
self-control to avoid
addiction, and underage
drinking is not safe.

­— GIGI
WashingtonFAMILY.com 29