HEALTHY FAMILY
Distorted Lens
Improving messages that shape
a child’s body image
BY COURTNEY MCGEE
Together, all parents
can fight back
against the negative
messages. Informed
parents can promote
healthy habits and
lifestyles and cultivate
positive body image
for everyone in
the family.

Feed kids good sense
“Kids see and hear everything, and that’s
how they make sense of the world,” says
Sadeh-Sharvit. They can internalize
the statements and messages we make
through our words and actions. “It is
important to make sure what we ‘feed’
our kids, at dinner and through messages,
is healthy.”
And negativity inevitably trickles down
to children. Parents should try to avoid
speaking too harshly about calories and
weight or making appearance-based
comments, suggests Sadeh-Sharvit. “If
parents talk negatively about bodies—even
if only talking about their own body, their
own silhouette and their own aesthetic
goals—kids hear it all.”
38 Washington FAMILY MARCH 2020
Risks for girls and boys
Criticism seems stronger related to
females, so parents tend to focus more
worry on girls, but boys can also be sub-
jected to negative body image. In general,
body standards for boys do cover a wider
range in shape, weight and appearance
than girls’ perceived ideals. But a 2016
study in the Journal of Pediatrics found that
among children ages 9 to 14, more than
half of girls and boys were dissatisfied with
their body shape.

And it begins even younger than that,
according to Sadeh-Sharvit. She notes
that studies have shown when children
as young as 3 were given Barbie and Bratz
or Ken and Hulk type dolls to play with,
they quickly internalized the standards
of beauty. Many preschool-aged girls
and boys expressed negative body image
after playing with dolls that exhibited an
idealistic physique.

But dolls are just one aspect among the
barrage of ads, television programs, maga-
zines and people around us every day that
display the distorted views of our culture
when it comes to body goals. There is an
abundance of unrealistic standards and
criticism for those who can’t meet them.

The impact of social media
For kids who are a bit older, does social media
stir the pot? “Social comparisons have been
always an immanent part of interpersonal
interactions. The interest in what other
people are experiencing and doing and com-
paring ourselves to them is what makes us
human,” notes Sadeh-Sharvit. Social media
provides even more opportunities for weight
stigma and body dissatisfaction.

“Many of the girls, boys and adults I
work with tell me that they feel worse after
watching other people’s posts, espe-
cially when they wear bathing suits, look
tanned or are very muscular. I recommend
my clients to reduce their social media
consumption and to consider unfollowing
ISTOCK/GETTY IMAGES PLUS/ALTRENDO IMAGES
A new year is well under way, and spring
is looming on the horizon. How have
you fared with your resolutions?
Many of us used the turn of the decade to
mark intent to change day-to-day routines
and make self-care a priority. Overall, those
motivations are very positive. A new year
presents fresh opportunity to evaluate our
lifestyle and set healthy goals. Often, those
goals stem from our body image.

Perception drives our mood when it
comes to body image. We all know that
bodies are different in size, shape and
functionality. But the way we perceive our
bodies in comparison with others can be
complicated. When parents want to change
the way they look and set unrealistic goals,
or if they want to impose dramatic changes
in diet or nutrition on a family, it’s import-
ant to tread carefully.

Shiri Sadeh-Sharvit, Ph.D., is a clinical
psychologist specializing in body image and
eating behaviors. She is also co-author of
the book, “Parents with Eating Disorders:
An Intervention Guide,” an evidence-based,
practical manual that aims to prevent dis-
ordered eating from being passed down
through generations.




HEALTHY FAMILY
The pediatrician can check BMI and devel-
opmental growth curves to determine if
there are any abnormalities, stunted growth,
increased weight gain or other things going
on. Puberty can be an especially tricky time
for self-image, and the pediatrician can help
reassure your child that the changes they are
going through are normal phases. A pediatri-
cian visit can also be a great opportunity for
a non-parent authority figure to chat with
kids and get a feel for whether their percep-
tion of their own appearance is healthy. If it
is not, they can help create a plan to guide
Opportunity and intervention
Sadeh-Sharvit reminds us that it’s abso- your child to a happier, healthier self-image.

lutely natural for kids to notice body
differences and feel inclined to point them Model healthy messages
out. “When kids start to talk about appear- Girls as young as 5 sometimes talk about
ance, it can present opportunity to address dieting or restricting foods, saying that if
health and nutrition, and that is a good they eat sweets they should walk around
thing.” But if the concerns seem driven by the block afterwards, etc. Those ideas are
a child’s self-criticism or the criticism of most likely mirroring what they hear at
others, if a child becomes less social, if hab- home. In examining your child’s views on
its change dramatically or if a parent gets a body image, be prepared to hear that some
gut feeling that self-consciousness is going of what is driving their self-criticism is
too far, it is good to talk about it with your coming from you—from the things you say
child’s pediatrician.

and do, even unintentionally.

or ‘muting’ accounts that make them feel
negatively about their bodies and their rela-
tionships,” Sadeh-Sharvit says. “This is a
huge concern that I wish more parents would
discuss with their kids.”
It comes down to recognizing where the
risks are, communicating and making the most
of the positives. “Let’s not forget that social
media could also be an avenue for activism and
for connecting with people and groups that
support body positivity,” she adds.

“Parents certainly aren’t likely to try to
sabotage a child’s self-esteem, but it’s always
a good idea to take a personal inventory of
the way you model health ideals,” Sadeh-
Sharvit says. “Parents can reinforce positive
health ideals—micronutrients, what it is to
be healthy, diverse food consumption (kids
need carbs), a focus on being strong and
healthy and confident.”
Help kids discover how capable and awe-
some their bodies can be by finding outlets
for activity that suit the child’s individual
interests and personality—whether it is
through organized sports, fitness classes
or just running around and climbing at the
park. Encourage them to realize that their
body is designed to do amazing things
when they make healthy choices to fuel it
thoughtfully and move it regularly. ■
Courtney McGee is a freelance writer,
cancer warrior, runner/triathlete and
compulsive Candy Crusher. She lives in
Towson with her husband and their three
children and high-maintenance rescued
hound dog.

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