‘WHAT ABOUT VACATION?’
Summer’s here and much has been
affected: camp, vacations, trips to see
grandparents. It’s tempting to reassure our kids that life
will return to normal soon, says Veronica
Raggi, a child and adolescent psychologist
and owner of Brighter Outlook Cognitive
Behavioral Therapy in Bethesda. But we have
to be honest with children and tell them
there are some answers we don’t have.

This generation of parents has “high
expectations,” says Raggi, a parent
herself, and we often think our vacations
“need roller coasters and water slides.”
Without those choices, “families can
come up with another plan for how they
can enjoy their time together,” she says.

“Ask your children, ‘What else might be
options for us?’”
Day trips, hiking and camping maybe be
reasonable activities, given the restrictions.

And for days that we are stuck at home, it’s
still important to make that time productive.

In her own household, Raggi’s
elementary-school-aged daughter is
keeping up with online music lessons. She
also has ordered her a water color kit so
her daughter can try her hand at painting.

It’s important for both kids and adults
to look for any positives in their situations.

Kids may be missing their friends, but they
may also be glad for more time with their
dog. Or they may be happy that the pace of
life is less frenetic now.

“We’re more resilient when we can look
holistically and see both good and bad,”
Raggi says.

‘I NEED A BREAK!’
American Red Cross volunteer Lynn
Hottle has seen many families in crisis
after disasters. But the 2020 coronavirus
pandemic is “so new, so different and so
prolonged,” she says.

Hottle is the regional lead for disaster
mental health services for the American
Red Cross’ National Capital & Greater
Chesapeake Region. She also regularly
holds workshops for military families, help-
ing them with stress management and
resiliency building.

In ongoing situations like this pandemic,
caregiver fatigue is a very real risk. Parents
16 Washington FAMILY JUNE 2020
can get easily worn out and need to practice
basic stress management.

“It’s that whole thing—you can’t take
care of others until you take care of your-
self,” Hottle says.

Sounds great. But how do parents do this
when there are employment, health and
education stressors?
Start by being mindful of your day. Find
ways to fit in breaks, Hottle says, adding
that they don’t have to be long breaks; 10
minutes are enough. Take a hot shower, if
it fits in with your schedule. Do some deep
breathing. Or crank up the music and have
a 10-minute dance party.

“We’re lacking so much control in this
situation,” she says, but parents can bring
back some of that control by taking care of
themselves. Cut back on Zoom. Many workers have
filled days with back-to-back videoconfer-
encing. That can be wearing, Hottle says.

It’s important to step away from the com-
puter and other technology throughout the
day to adjust both your eyes and outlook.

Another suggestion: Schedule meet-
ings on different days, so tech time is
broken up throughout the week.

Follow a sleep schedule. Go to bed at the
same time on week nights
and get up at
the same
time, too.

Good quality
sleep is import-
ant, Hottle says,
and we should try to
make it a priority when
we can.

It’s a lot, acknowl-
edges Hottle, who is a
grandmother. She sees
how much work her adult
children have to put into
both caregiving and their
jobs right now. Adding self-
care to that might seem like
just another increase to the
workload. But it is a much-
needed step if we are to
weather this disaster.

“We have to be intentional
about taking care of ourselves,”
she says.

‘I NEED A NEW JOB!’
Amidst the health and economic woes of
this pandemic, there were parents contem-
plating a career change. Many had already
lost their jobs, and others were considering
their work-life balance.

“While not to minimize the current
devastation, amid darkness, there are
also opportunities,” says Janet Ladd, a
The good news
is that we have
the skills to
ready our kids
(and ourselves)
for whatever
come next
Kay Connors