How to Buy jeans
for a dad that
don't look like
'dad Jeans'
TEXT RYAN ANDERSON BELL and rex Eaton
(Excerpted from their guest blog post on
iamnotthebabysitter.com) 54
June 2015
washingtonFAMILY.com



I
t’s safe to say that the world is sickened by overly
I never thought I’d be a fan of Perry Ellis jeans until I
distressed denim, rhinestone pockets, buttons-for-
actually had to borrow a pair from a friend, because I got
decoration and anything with the words “Affliction”
BBQ sauce on mine. Again. They fit so that I don’t talk in
or “Juicy” scrawled across the derriere. I mean, a
a high-pitched voice, but still don’t look like I’m wearing
man can enjoy a Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fight if it’s on
denim pajama pants. Definitely a good choice for active
TV, but save us all if everyone started wearing the clothes
dads. those guys wear. I’d rather get punched in the throat by
one of those MMA guys than be caught in a not-so-dapper
For the boot-cut types out there…we know who we are.

pair of elastic-waisted, triple-pleated, sky blue “dad
Not everyone can pull off straight leg jeans. I spend five
jeans.” days in the gym every week and wear tight t-shirts to
make me look way tougher than I really am. So if I wear
So where’s the middle ground between Martha Stewart
straight leg jeans, I basically look like a moron. Not that
and Apple Bottom Jeans for guys?
I don’t anyway, but straight leg jeans complete the look.

I like my jeans from Banana Republic and have had good
Rule one, of course, is to leave out the “boots with tha
success with them being high quality and lasting a long
fur.” Men don’t need to “peacock” with their jeans. We
time. However, please beware, think dark wash and don’t
don’t need flags, buckles, extra zippers or bedazzling.

be drawn in by their lighter, distressed options.

Rule two, ask your wife or a trusted female friend. For all
We wouldn’t have even tried Lee Jeans if we hadn’t
you wives, significant others and friends of dads, please
seen them on site at the Dad 2.0 Blogger Summit in San
help. He hasn’t given up, it’s just that he hasn’t had to
Francisco this year. Lee’s representative saved one of our
attract someone other than his partner since cargo shorts
colleagues buckets of money – he has decided Lee Jeans
with Birkenstocks were considered appropriate date attire.

compare favorably to the extremely overpriced selvedge
denim he gets from his fancy friends’ boutiques. Lee
The current dad-jean scene screamed for some
brought to mind the goofy wave stitching on the tapered
rectification. Let’s make him look great and hopefully
oval pockets of 1991 until we slipped into one of these
keep him from ripping them open the first time he squats
2015 bad boys. They apparently have something called
to clean up Easy Mac off the bedroom floor. (Why do my
ring-spun denim and four-way flex. We're guessing those
kids eat Easy Mac in the bedroom? Because I pick my
are the technical terms for comfy and long wearing.

battles; don’t judge me.)
And we end with some parting words: don’t wear brown
Here’s what we’ve found and advise you to
follow our lead:
shoes with a black belt or black shoes with a brown belt.

The Matix Gripper Denim Jeans – you can get them online
Ryan Anderson Bell is an author, speaker, advocate and
or go try them on at PacSun. PacSun you say? Isn’t that
podcaster. Follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/ryan_a_bell
store for teenagers? Short answer? Yes. Long answer?
and Facebook at www.facebook.com/ryanandersonbell
They have great prices, and as long as you can muster
the courage to step into the store with the pop punk from
Rex Eaton is a husband and father and helps run
2005 playing, you can find some great, affordable jeans.

iamnotthebabysitter.com for fun.

washingtonFAMILY.com June 2015
55