INCLUSIVE FAMILY
Adjusting to a
New Physical
Impairment as a
Family BY HEATHER M. ROSS
“The most important
piece when a kid is
adjusting to a new
impairment is that
parents need to let
their child take
the lead.”
—Lindsay Cirincione,
Kennedy Krieger
26 Washington FAMILY JULY 2022
What to keep in mind
of parents who also need support in coping
with this change,” Cirincione says.

Talk to your child about
physical differences
At the beginning of your child’s journey,
your child may want to hear very little
about why his or her body is different from
yours or that of one’s peers. As kids get
older, it’s OK to give more information as
they develop more questions.

It’s OK if you don’t know all the answers
to your child’s questions. In this case, Via
Strong, a clinical and rehabilitation psycholo-
gist who works with the National Center for
Children’s Rehabilitation through Children’s
National Hospital, recommends saying to
your child, “‘I want to make sure I’m giv-
ing you the right information. Let’s make an
appointment with your pediatrician and ask
that question there.’”
When you’re explaining additional help
your child might need, reassure them that
you feel lucky to be their parent and that
while there may be some hard things, you’ll
get through them together.

How your child copes with a physical impair-
ment will depend heavily on the child’s age
and maturity. The older your child is, the
stronger the senses of loss and grief will be.

According to Lindsay Cirincione, a
licensed clinical psychologist who works
with children with disabilities at the nation-
ally recognized Kennedy Krieger Institute,
it’s common for children to be frustrated at
the beginning as they’re learning to use their
bodies in a new way. These adjustments take
time and practice, and that’s OK.

“The most important piece when a kid is
adjusting to a new impairment is that par-
ents need to let their child take the lead,” Nurture confidence building in
Cirincione says.

your child
One source of anxiety for children dealing
Let your child lead
with a new physical impairment is wondering
There is no wrong or abnormal way to react how they’ll answer questions from friends,
to this type of change in ability. The best step classmates and teachers at school. The best
parents can take is talk to their child. Ask way to deal with this situation is to practice
how they’re doing, how things are going with answering some of the more common ques-
their friends at school, and how things are tions at home.

going with family members.

Cirincione recommends daily family
“Kids are remarkably resilient, and some- check-ins where parents can express their
times adults have a harder time adjusting. feelings to model healthy expression.

Kids often bounce back quickly. We see a lot
Another important way parents can
JOHNNYGREIG/E+ C
hildren who are adjusting to a new
physical limitation may have trouble
understanding how this new circum-
stance will affect their day-to-day lives. As a
parent, you may also wonder how things are
going to work differently for them and what
their daily living will be like.

Your child may be adjusting to a new
mobility device such as a cane or walker,
or a prosthetic that will take time to learn
how to use.




INCLUSIVE FAMILY
reduce anxiety is by giving children permission to say they don’t
want to talk about it.

For example, “‘That’s something I’m not comfortable talking about
right now. Can you call (name of parent or relative) to get more infor-
mation?’” says Cirincione.

Another way parents can help their child adjust is getting them
involved in social activities with other children who have similar dif-
ferences. Many activities, camps and types of wheelchair sports exist
for children.

“Find what’s in your area and connect with these things,”
advises Strong.

Prepare for school
If your child’s first time back to school after a physical impairment has
occurred is approaching, you as a parent can help your child prepare
for this transition.

First, set up a meeting with school administration and your child’s
teachers to explain your child’s ability difference. Discuss the type of
support your child will need and the signs that your child may be expe-
riencing difficulty. Make a plan for when teachers should contact a
parent or guardian for help.

Make sure you learn about the school’s approach with disabilities. If
the school overly focuses on liability, administrators may keep kids out
of activities that would benefit them.

Misconceptions about raising a child with a
physical impairment
One common myth about children and physical impairments is that
kids will be limited in what they can do. That may not be true. Children
are remarkably resilient and often surprise caregivers and doctors with
how well they cope and adapt to their new circumstances.

“Each parent goes through a grieving process. Guilt, sadness and
anger are all OK to experience. Those emotions don’t make you less of
a parent. Normalize all the emotions,” says Cirincione.

“Despite the immense challenges that can come with having a physi-
cal impairment, kids who deal with these circumstances are constantly
surprising us,” Cirincione says. “While it may be a very difficult cir-
cumstance to adjust to, we need to give kids room to be successful
because they can surprise us with all the things they can do that we
never would have dreamed of.” n
FAQs for Parents
How do I find a support group?
“Online support groups can be very helpful, but it’s
important to be cautious. Every child is unique, and just
because one person had a really good or really bad
outcome doesn’t mean that will happen for your child.

(Remember to) double-check information with medical
providers,” says Cirincione.

Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, many support groups
now have a Zoom meeting option. Parents of children
with more rare differences can access a global network
of parents. Strong also recommends that parents look
into conferences for their child’s disability. Conferences
not only give parents access to other parents, but also
to new research and the best emerging practices for
coping and thriving with the condition.

How do I know if my child is coping well with an
injury or impairment?
“Let your child take the lead. As adults, we anticipate
challenges ahead of us. Children are better at living
in the moment,” says Cirincione. “If you see your child
doing well, it’s OK to assume they’re coping well.”
If your child stops doing what he or she enjoys,
withdraws to spend more time alone and isolates from
family and friends, these signs may signal that a child is
having trouble coping.

What’s different between children born with a
physical difference and kids who acquire one later?
When children are born with an impairment, they won’t
know that any differences exist between them and
their peers at first. Eventually, they will start to notice
differences and ask questions about why and how they
are different from their peers. During this time, parents
may notice some social withdrawal and reluctance to
engage with their peers.

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