When
Moms Don’t Get
Enough Sleep ...

AND WHAT THEY
CAN DO ABOUT IT
BY PJ FEINSTEIN
I f you send a text message to Jamie Maier after
midnight, there’s a good chance she’ll respond
right away. Maier, a family law attorney in
Rockville, routinely stays up until 2:30 or 3 a.m.

despite knowing she’s going to be woken up
four short hours later by her five-year-old son and
almost three-year-old daughter.

Maier, 34, can deal with waking up grumpy and
surviving on coffee because staying up late is the only
way she can squeeze some much needed “me-time”
into her non-stop daily schedule. Between working
during the day and taking care of her family in the
evening, “I was truly catering to everyone else’s
needs and not my own,” she says. “I used to be cre-
ative, I used to have hobbies and I wasn’t doing any
of that anymore.”
After her husband goes to bed around 10 p.m.,
Maier indulges in “trash TV,” browses her favorite
shopping websites or makes beaded bracelets for
friends — her newest creative pursuit.

“Too many people, especially busy moms, think
they can get used to getting less sleep than they
need, but it doesn’t work that way,” says Terry
Cralle, RN, a certified clinical sleep educator and
28 WashingtonFAMILY JULY 2019
“Too many people,
especially busy
moms, think they
can get used to
getting less sleep
than they need, but
it doesn’t work
that way.”
­— TERRY CRALLE —



co-author of “Sleeping Your Way to the Top” and
“Snoozby and the Great Big Bedtime Battle.” “You
don’t get used to it, and trying to do so only leads
to any number of problems — some very serious.”
Consider this: A new Iowa State University study
found that not getting enough sleep can make
you feel angrier in frustrating situations — and
just think about how many times a day you get
frustrated with your spouse, kids or coworkers.

“Despite typical tendencies to get somewhat
used to irritating conditions — an uncomfortable
shirt or a barking dog — sleep-restricted indi-
viduals actually showed a trend toward increased
anger and distress, essentially reversing their abil-
ity to adapt to frustrating conditions over time,”
says study co-author Zlatan Krizan, a psychology
professor at Iowa State.

Sleep deprivation also increases feelings of lone-
liness and leads to social withdrawal, according to
recent research from Nature Communications. To
add insult to injury, other people are less inclined
to engage with tired individuals because they’re
perceived as being lonely. It’s a vicious cycle!
Cralle warns that tired moms are also putting
themselves and their families in jeopardy when
they drive while sleep deprived. “Drowsy driving is
just as dangerous as drunk driving,” she says. Stud-
ies have found that tiredness affects concentration,
memory and decision-making in ways that are
similar to drinking too much.

Despite the consequences of not getting enough
sleep, many moms, like Maier, are still willing
to sacrifice shut-eye in order to get things done
around the house or catch up on some work. That’s
a mistake, Cralle says.

“Although it seems counterintuitive at first
glance, a sleep-deprived person who may have a few
extra hours in the day is not getting more things
done. They are getting less done and not doing it
well,” she says. “That is because sleep deprivation
affects our performance, our productivity, our deci-
sion making, our problem solving, our accuracy, our
efficiency, our motivation — so many things that
essentially backfire when we trade sleep hours for
more waking hours.”
So how can busy moms start
getting more sleep? Here are a few
strategies you might want to try:
SET AN ALARM
It’s easy to lose track of time when you’re doing the
laundry, cleaning the kitchen or simply zoning out in
front of the TV. Cralle recommends setting an alarm
on your phone at least 30 minutes before bedtime to
remind you to start getting ready for bed.

COURTESY OF GETTY IMAGES
CREATE A “PRE-SLEEP RITUAL”
Bedtime routines aren’t just for kids, Cralle advises.

Whether you take a warm bath, meditate, read, knit
or do a jigsaw puzzle, incorporating some quiet
“me-time” into your bedtime routine will help you
relax — as long as your activity of choice doesn’t have
a screen.

HAVE A MEDIA CURFEW
The blue light from electronics suppresses mela-
tonin production, making it difficult to fall and stay
asleep. Cralle recommends unplugging from your
devices “at least one to two hours prior to bedtime.”
Besides, binge-watching that new show on Netflix is
time you could be catching up on zzzs.

KEEP YOUR BEDROOM CLUTTER FREE
It’s easy to neglect the master bedroom when there
are so many other rooms at home to keep neat and
tidy. But it’s hard to unwind in a room that feels
chaotic and messy. Turn your bedroom into a “sleep
sanctuary,” Cralle recommends, by avoiding bright
colors, investing in a comfortable mattress and
bedding, and keeping clutter at bay.

So the next time you’re tempted to stay up late,
remind yourself that sleep is a biological need,
not a luxury or an indulgence. “Quite simply, you
are a better mother if you are not sleep deprived,”
Cralle says. ■
PJ Feinstein is a mother and the editor of Wolf +
Friends, an app that connects moms raising kids
with special needs. She lives in Potomac and
definitely doesn’t get enough sleep.

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