WF
MY TURN
5 Things Only a Mom Would Say
on Valentine’s Day
O n Valentine’s Day, long before your
mom days, you probably dined
by candlelight in some swanky
restaurant. Once you gave birth to your sweet
little munchkins, your meal is more likely to
involve baby spit up or chicken nuggets. Besides
the lack of a romantic dining experience, you
may also find yourself saying the following:
1. “Thank God this holiday
doesn’t entail elves, fairies,
leprechauns or any other
magical night creatures.”
I’m not sure who came up with the brilliant
idea of having “magical night creatures,” but I
can guarantee it wasn’t a mom. At night, moms
are counting down the seconds until they can
go to sleep. The last thing on a mom’s mind is
remembering to move an elf, retrieve a tooth or
paint green leprechaun footprints on the floor.

Plus, who would want to create a “leprechaun
mess” knowing who will have to clean it up
later? Definitely not a mom. We have enough
messes we already clean daily. Please don’t
create a magical “Cupid” that comes in the
night. We already have more magic than Harry
Potter at our house—thanks but no thanks.

2. “I just need about 10 more
hours on Pinterest to find the
perfect Valentine’s Day craft,
cupcake and card.”
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Pinterest is a black hole that will suck all of
the hours out of your day. Just when you think
you found the perfect craft, cupcake or card to
replicate for the 25 kids in your child’s class,
you will see another one and then another one.

Before you know it, the whole day is gone and
you still haven’t picked up a glue gun or spatula.

3. “I know you already have five
Valentine’s Day T-shirts, but I
couldn’t resist buying another
one. I mean what other time
34 Washington FAMILY FEBRUARY 2022
can you wear a shirt that reads
‘Love-a-saurus’ with an adorable
red dinosaur on it?”
Valentine’s Day kid shirts are adorable. Let’s
face it ... your teens aren’t going to let you
dress them up in a “Love-a-saurus” shirt, so
I’m going to dress up the kids in as many as
I can while I still can. Some of my favorites
besides “Love-a-saurus” are “More Spice than
Sugar,” “I Choo-Choo Choose You” and “You
Have a Pizza of My Heart.”
4. “Roses are red. Violets are
blue. I’ll give you some candy if
you go number two—in the potty
this time.”
Oh, the joys of potty training on Valentine’s
Day! Enough said.

5. “I think a fair cut of your
Valentine’s Day school candy
would be half since I wrote all 25
of your Valentine cards.”
Not only do you have to write each kid’s
name on the Valentine card, but then you
have to lick each envelope and then put
a candy or sticker on it. If you are lucky
enough to have three kids, that is 75 cards
in one night since, of course, you waited
until the night before to do this “work.”
Surely this effort warrants at least half of
the candy take if not more—actually 60-40
is probably a fairer cut.

Once that Hershey Kiss starts melting in
your mouth, that hand cramp will be a distant
memory—until next year. T
Cheryl Maguire holds a Master of Counseling
Psychology degree. She is married and is the
mother of twins and a daughter. Her writing
has been published in The New York Times,
Parents Magazine, AARP, Healthline, Your Teen
Magazine and many other publications. You can
find her at Twitter @CherylMaguire05.

PROVIDED PHOTO
BY CHERYL MAGUIRE