K
MY TURN
Finding Peace with Food
During the Holidays
nowing how to eat can feel
complicated, especially during the
holidays. We want to enjoy food and
connection with family and friends, but we
may feel guilty about eating certain foods or
out of control around certain dishes. Growing
up, I often turned to food for comfort when
unable to cope with difficult emotions or
circumstances. As I grew older, and my size
and shape started to shift, I looked to food as
the enemy, keeping me from the thinness I
desired. This split relationship with food was a
major source of stress for me in my adolescent
years and eventually spiraled into a full-blown
eating disorder in my late teens and early 20s.

I remember restricting myself for weeks
before holidays just to uncomfortably gorge
myself when the special day finally came. This
pattern left me feeling guilty and fearful of
food and my own cravings, and it stole quite a
bit of joy from what should have been special
and celebratory moments. I’m now fully
recovered from my eating disorder and feel
complete freedom around foods no matter
the day of the year. After years of my own
disordered patterns, I find great joy in helping
clients and families at Rock Recovery heal
their relationship to food.

Healing our relationship with food can be
challenging, let alone teaching our children
to find peace with theirs. Our disordered
culture has programmed us to believe many
lies about food that can be hard to untangle
and understand.

One of the most important things we can
do for our children is to teach them the value
of all types of food while modeling variety,
balance and moderation—the basic tenets
of the Intuitive Eating model from Evelyn
Tribole and Elyse Resch. By removing moral
judgment around food, we eliminate the need
to make fear-based or frantic decisions about
the types of food we will enjoy.

I’ll never forget the kindergarten class I
spoke to a few years back. One of the children
emphatically raised his hand, desperate to
share his insights. When I called on him, he
matter of factly said, “Chocolate is bad, and
BY CHRISTIE DONDERO BETTWY
you shouldn’t eat it because it will make you
fat.” He was precious and so proud of his
statement, yet it made my heart drop. That
statement is filled with judgment and fear.

Kids are intuitive, and they understand that if
an adult tells them chocolate is bad, and they
eat it, then it makes them bad. So how does
one stay good? Avoid chocolate. This pattern
can be devastating for children and cause them
to go through periods of unhealthy restriction
and potential binge eating instead of enjoying
foods in their proper times.

What can parents do to model a healthy
relationship with food? One of the keys to
food freedom is to not restrict food groups—
barring true allergies or dietary limitations.

I’ve heard many stories of well-intentioned
parents keeping food locked up or restricting
their children’s intake of certain junk foods
for fear of their health. I sympathize with
the fear parents feel and their desperate
desire to keep their kids healthy and safe.

Unfortunately, this method can do more harm
than good. Often these kids feel completely
out of control around food, and they are the
ones at the birthday parties going back for
30 Washington FAMILY DECEMBER 2021
thirds and fourths or sneaking into the pantry
when everyone else is asleep. Restricting
foods is one of the quickest ways to develop a
disordered relationship with food.

While everyone’s needs are unique, I hope
you will think carefully about how you can
create a joyful and judgment-free approach to
food this holiday season for your family. You
may need greater support from a dietitian or
specialist depending on your family’s needs,
but it is never too late to seek help for your
family to experience food freedom and a
healthy approach to eating. n
Christie Dondero Bettwy serves as the executive
director for Rock Recovery, a nonprofit that helps
people overcome disordered eating by combining
clinical therapy services and community support.

Having gone through recovery herself, she
understands the depth of support needed to recover
and is passionate about spreading the message
that freedom from disordered eating is possible.

She is an active speaker and shares her story with
organizations and media outlets across the country.

Christie lives in Falls Church, Virginia,
with her husband, Ryan.

PHOTO PROVIDED
WF



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