WF VOICES
Not a CHORE
Take self-care off the to-do list
isn’t the right term. Being alone basically feels
like a waste.

It’d be like trying to stick to a restricted
diet where I am banned from eating brownies,
bagels, coffee and cheese. It is completely
unrealistic to believe I could follow that. I
wouldn’t enjoy eating anymore, which would
make me miserable. My self-care equivalent
to a diet of beets and dandelion greens is
being touched for an hour and slicked up
with so much product the neighborhood kids
could play Slip-and-Slide on my cheeks. I am
never going to get behind the idea of self-care
if it’s restricted to a certain type.

Science says
I f one more person tells me I need to “fill
my cup” in the interest of self-care, I’m
going to hotbox them in a meat locker.

With lots and lots of aged meats.

Stop telling me to get a massage. I don’t
want a facial or a pedicure. I might be able to
stomach a manicure if I wasn’t forced to sit
still for longer than 20 minutes.

I have a 2-year-old and a 6-month-old. I
work full-time as the breadwinner and am
always running a side hustle or two at any
given time. My husband stays home as the
full-time caretaker, so I feel guilty any time he
has to take care of them outside of, you know,
every day. Even though I couldn’t have found
a more supportive spouse had I conjured him
up from the Ideal Husband Factory in Palo
Alto (don’t lie, you just Googled it).

My time with my daughters is precious.

My time with my friends is insanely precious
because it’s so rare. The idea of taking an
hour or two to do something completely by
myself sounds asinine. Calling it a ‘luxury’
Do it your way
I practice self-care in four ways that are really
important to me and work for me rather than
against me.

Boundary setting. Self-care to me means
not straining my already overfilled mental and
emotional load. Saying no to opportunities,
WashingtonFAMILY.com 49
PIXELFIT/E+/GETTY IMAGES
BY KRYSTINA WALES
The importance of self-care has been
scientifically proven. It’s a mental health
regiment as much as a physical one, helping to
reduce anxiety, elevate patience and resilience,
foster creativity and open- mindedness as well
as combating burnout and exhaustion.

It’s also a buzzword that has gotten a
lot of face time recently. And just like any
good, old-fashioned game of telephone, the
more it’s talked about, the more its original
meaning and purpose falls away, replaced by
the commercialization of the concept for an
individual’s or company’s own benefit.

Self-care is more than just actions taken. It
says it right there in the name: it is the art of
taking care of yourself. So for mothers who
can’t fathom the space to spend hours doing
something alone, who are overwhelmed and
guilt-ridden by the idea of trying to practice
self-care in the way it’s currently being
marketed, it’s OK. You aren’t doing it wrong.