WF BLOG
Cool Acceptance
How I Learned to Tolerate ‘Frozen’
BY DANIEL LEADERMAN
W hen my oldest daughter was
born, and even before, I worried
about princesses the way people
worry about bedbugs. I was afraid that once
they got into our lives, they would never leave
and that the child would be obsessed by the
celebration of wealth, beauty, privilege and
the need to be rescued by men that I felt (per-
haps unfairly) these characters embodied.
More specifically, I was worried about
“Frozen,” a film that I had yet to see but
whose defiant, show-stopping anthem-that-
shall-not-be-named I had already heard — and
dismissed as embarrassing, sub-Lloyd-Webber
drivel. But I had witnessed the hypnotic power
this movie has over children and had seen,
on multiple non-Halloween occasions, little
girls walking around in public — in public! —
wearing their Elsa costumes.
No way, I thought. Not my kid.
For three years, I actively kept this film
from my daughter, steering her instead
toward fare that was more tolerable (to me),
such as “Moana” and the Pixar library. Was
it her I was trying to protect, or was it me? I
plead the Fifth. But the week after our second
I had been the father of a daughter. Now, I
was the father of sisters. Luckily, older girl
thought — and still thinks — younger girl
is wonderful and has taken a mostly protec-
tive attitude toward the baby since day one.
The baby seems to adore her big sister, who
is often the greatest show in town. It’s been
moving to watch them interact and see their
relationship develop.
“Frozen,” for the blissfully uninitiated, is
about two strong, confident sisters trying to
protect each other. There’s a bit of romance,
too, but it’s mostly subplot; it doesn’t drive
the action of the story the way the bond
between the two young women does.
And so, driving my oldest to school,
listening to “Do You Want to Build a Snow-
man” for the three-dozenth time, I suddenly
found myself getting, well, a little emotional.
Those sisters are so devoted to each other,
I thought with a burst of clarity. All they want
is for the other to be safe and happy! That’s
what I want for my girls. That’s all I want!
Resistance, it would appear, was futile.
From then on, my objections to the film have
more or less evaporated. The Song is still
I was afraid that once [princesses] got into
our lives, they would never leave and that
[my daughters] would be obsessed by the
celebration of wealth, beauty, privilege
and the need to be rescued by men.
GETTY IMAGES/E+/SKASHKIN
22 WashingtonFAMILY AUGUST 2019
daughter was born, while I was awash in the
rekindled joy and exhaustion of bringing a
newborn home, I let down my guard for a few
crucial minutes. Older daughter heard the
song when it began playing after the “Lion
King” clips we’d been watching on YouTube,
declared “I want to watch that movie,” and,
too weak to fight it any longer, I relented.
The first few viewings were hard. So were
the next few mornings on which she wanted
to hear only “Frozen” songs on the drive to
school. Weeks passed. Elsa sang.
“This is your life now, you dumb bas-
tard,” I thought to myself. But life had also
changed in more important ways. Before,
mediocre, Olaf the Snowman still feels like
he was hastily dreamed up so the team in the
writers’ room could break early for lunch,
and the movie is still about princesses in
pretty clothes rather than ordinary-looking
people with regular jobs. But ... it’s OK.
It’s got two great sisters, and that will do
for now. I’ve learned that sometimes you
just have to ... I mean, you have to take your
anger and ... we’ve all just got to let ... sigh …
Oh, reader, don’t make me say it. I still can’t
bear to type the words … n
Daniel Leaderman is author of the blog,
Dad Reckoning.
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