book reviews:
Next Stop:
An Autistic Son Grows Up
Tourette Syndrome at a young age. Despite the pain,
embarrassment or judgment it might cause, she is frank
about her experiences.

Finland admits to being largely absent in the childhoods
of her other two boys. She expresses frustration about
David’s absentmindedness and mourns the lack of
warmth and expressions of love and appreciation. Finland
also expresses gratitude for her long marriage to Bruce.

His maturity, empathy, commitment and kindness helped
bolster their marriage; other couples might have divorced
from the complicated, heavy weight of raising a child with
special needs.

As the mother of three young children myself, none of
them with special needs, I nodded as Finland pointed
out the obvious—taking care of a child from birth to
adulthood is a parent’s job. With a special needs child,
those 18 years are jam-packed in a way it’s hard for me to
appreciate. Early on in his childhood, Finland and her husband
wonder: What about when David reaches adulthood?
How can we help him grow and strengthen his wings so
he can gain independence and live a fulfilling, productive,
T TEXT KATE SCHWARZ
oday alone, 68 parents will be told their child
has autism. One child will be diagnosed every
20 minutes. This fact makes autism the fastest
growing developmental disorder in the United
States. We can safely bet that we’ll know someone with
autism—so let’s equip ourselves with empathy and
patience, and a few facts.

Next Stop is a great place to start. Local author and
mother, Glen Finland, describes the heart-warming,
heart-wrenching experiences she had while raising her
third son, David, who was diagnosed with autism and
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14 August 2015 washingtonFAMILY.com
independent life? Those questions are difficult and tricky
given David’s needs, but Finland shares the answers,
along with lessons learned along the way.

Educating David taught Finland that they “should have
kept our son in public school and our money in our wallet
as long as possible, because we will need it for what
happens next. Because what happens next is the rest of his
life.” They looked for and tried several solutions: David
attended a life skills school in Florida for two years, then
came home. He looked for a group home in which to
live, but his own home was still the best place for him.

He searched for a job at a time when the government was



By: Glen Finland
cutting jobs for differently-abled workers, unsuccessful
for nearly a year. The jobs he did end up with (I cheered
that one was for my beloved Washington Nationals)
required big-hearted individuals willing to be the ones to
accommodate David’s needs and personality.

At the same time that Finland helps David grow and use
his wings, she realizes his disabilities make him more
gullible and unable to read social clues that could easily
make him a victim, so she and Bruce argued for limited
guardianship over David. They also opened a special
needs trust to take care of him should they suddenly
pass away. The natural “letting go” of a child, I realize, is
infinitely more complicated when that child has special
needs. Finland wrote the book to create a collage of words and
memories for her David, and she included her other sons’
views of him, as well as her husband’s. The end result is
a loving portrait of a special guy whose family loves him
fiercely. And despite the fact that David still frustrates all
of them, sometimes on a daily basis, they’ve grown to love
him for who he is, rather than resent him for who he is
not. That’s the sort of acceptance we all could learn from.

Finland writes that it “seems like every new adventure
with David offers us a chance to see the best and worst
in people.” I wish for all parents—whether their children
have special needs or not—to read Next Stop to learn from
her experience with David. With his image in our minds,
maybe we can approach the next autistic child and his/her
parents with a little more empathy and patience. Knowing
a little more of what they might be facing and feeling, we
can give that parent and child our best.

Kate Schwarz is a full-time mom and wife living in Great Falls, VA. In
addition to being a reader to her three small children, Kate is a writer,
distance runner, Crossfitter and blogger of raising kids with books at
www.katesbookery.blogspot.co m.

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