HEALTHY FAMILY
opportunity tell you the worst possible
stories about what can go wrong, is there?
One day, I was in the locker room after a
swim, at age 39 and at 39 weeks pregnant. A
woman at a nearby locker asked when I was
due, and I said in one week. She said “Oh,
do not let them let you go overdue! That
happened to my husband’s first wife and
the baby died!” I was dumbstruck. Then a
sweet, wonderful little old lady jumped in
and said, “How dare you say that? Get out
of here! Out! Out!” and literally chased her
from the room. (OK, that part was actually
pretty awesome.)
Unlike the Negative Nellies and Debbie
Downers of this world, “Beyond the Egg
Timer” maintains a positive energy, aiming
to inspire and motivate women embarking
on an uncertain pursuit of childbearing a bit
later in life. Fisher and Williams reinforce
the importance of connections, flexibility,
humor and acceptance.

They also coined the term “pregtiquette,”
offering helpful lessons on how to address
the social awkwardness and “icky emotional
and interpersonal situations that can arise”
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while trying to conceive and being pregnant.

For example, pregtiquette vignettes demon-
strate how to handle common scenarios,
such as unsolicited advice, nosey questions
about fertility, intrusive opinions on birth
plans and how to respond to a pregnancy
announcement from a friend or relative
when wrestling with your own fertility-re-
lated issues.

Another section explores self-care and
mindfulness to manage stress and cre-
ate healthier relationships with our own
thoughts, reminding us that “we cannot
control when we will conceive or if we
encounter major health issues along the
way. We can only control our response.”
There’s even some handy basic instruction
on how to meditate. If stress is more per-
vasive and becomes anxiety, the authors
note that talking to a therapist and pur-
suing help such as cognitive behavioral
therapy can be empowering and ease suf-
fering. Plus, the book outlines a host of
recommended additional resources on fer-
tility and conception, mental health, mom
blogs, pregnancy and parenting.

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® A Nonprofit Organization
800-992-9392 Since 1947—
www.StutteringHelp.org Helping Those Who Stutter
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We’re not alone
The personal stories are the heart of
the book, presenting different perspec-
tives and giving new ways to think about
things. Fisher says the goals of “Beyond
the Egg Timer” are to normalize hav-
ing children later in life and to give you
a chance to better understand your own
feelings and concerns. She says: “Maybe
you’re like me: ambitious, goal-oriented
and experienced at working really hard
and really smart toward something and
achieving it. I give a lot, expect a lot and,
at the core, attempt to control a lot. But
here is the thing: Pregnancy is not like
that. Parenting is certainly not like that.

Life is not like that.”
If you or a loved one would appreciate
some compassion, comfort and coping
skills for the unpredictable journey to
motherhood in later years, this book has
much to offer. Yes, there are risks with any
pregnancy, and for an older mom-to-be,
those risks can create even more fear and
uncertainty for the pregnant woman and
also for those who surround her. n
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